


Burning

by Confuzledsheep



Series: Scorched [1]
Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Depressing, Double Dick Shiva, Intoxicated Sex, M/M, Masturbation, Morning After, Now its an actual fic whoop, Quality Snake Content, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Destruction, Self-Harm, Self-harm via sex, Slow Burn, Soft sex, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Weird Biology, Wet Dream, snake - Freeform, snake bite - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-06-18 00:04:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15473058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Confuzledsheep/pseuds/Confuzledsheep
Summary: “If you continue to abuse your powers and body like this, you will perish.”Exactly. That is why I do it.





	1. Snake eyes

**Author's Note:**

> This is all weird self projection and also my personal feelings/hc around Grimnir and where he fits in the sense of the other 120% summons. I also like Grimnir/Shiva so I had to add that.

Shiva would touch him. On occasion. A pat on the shoulder, a hand on his back. Each point of contact burning. Grimnir wished those handprints would leave scars. A mark. A brand. Proof he was more than just a title.

Shiva would most often touch him after he messed up. A searing grip onto his wrist, his arm, sometimes even his neck. A tingling reminder that he was the weak link. Alexiel was defence, her great shield defending all worthy of her protection. Europa was a healer, her mere presence reversing the effects of death itself. And Shiva… Shiva was a leader. He said the word, inspired confidence into all who could hear, his words giving his allies strength that could possibly rival his own.

Grimnir was the fool. He tried to do it all, and in the process, did nothing particularly well. He would charge in, tongue aching for blood. He was created to be selfish. He could protect his allies so long as he was the one being hit. 

Shiva and the others would yell at him, claiming his tactics to be ‘suicidal’

If only they realized that was his intention.

Alexiel got close, once. She asked him why he kept doing it, claiming that Lord Raphael would be disappointed. He wanted to laugh. Raphael’s disappointment was not a threat anymore. It was the reality. The others were lucky that they were actually good at what they were created to do. Uriel would give his life up for Alexiel, same with Gabriel and her devotion to Europa. Shiva had earned the deep respect of Michael, which was a miracle, frankly. All the others were treated like they were the archangel’s own children.

Grimnir honestly suspected that Raphael would lose him in a market square and fail to realize he was missing until he returned home.

His only redeemable quality was that he was a tenacious bastard. He simply refused to go away, he refused to die. Although he was not particularly good on the battlefield, he certainly played the part. He played it very well.

Perhaps that was his role. He was the actor. He should change his title to ‘God of liars and fakes’. The God of bloodthirsty fools. He wasn't picky anymore. He didn't care whose blood it was. He would be elated by the idea that it was his own.

He would look down upon the islands of the mortals sometimes, see the vast fields of grass blowing in the wind. In the winter, they were white. Small bright green sprouts cutting through the melting snow in the early spring, growing a deep green before fading to gold, becoming engulfed in red in August or September.

He grew curious. He stood in one of those burning fields one time. It didn't feel like Shiva. It didn't feel like much to him.

He was mad about the fact he felt let down over it.

He grew weary of it all. He still played chess with Shiva, even though he knew he would lose.

“Why do you not put an effort in? What if this was a real battlefield?” Shiva growled at him one time.

I would do the same. I will never be able to win against you, we all know that. “Because I know I will lose.”

“Well you will certainly lose of you behave that way.”

“Won't make much of a difference. We've done this for thousands of years. Do you not grow weary?”

“The stakes continue to rise as the ages pass.”

Grimnir knew he was lying. The stakes were not rising. If they were, he would still thirst for blood like he used to. There was no longer the ache to kill. He just rushed to the front, to be impaled on whatever weapon the enemy happened to have. Then he would be tossed around, beat to a pulp until his allies could finish them off. 

Europa never bothered to heal him. Not even when they first worked together.

“Why do you continue to ruin our strategy?!” Alexiel demanded.

“I didn't know there was one to begin with.”

“Well there was.”

“Let me guess. You defend while Europa Heals and Shiva does all the attacking.”

Alexiel’s brows knit together. That had been the strategy for thousands of years. It had worked like a charm every time.

Every time Grimnir wasn't there. Every time he was knocked out of the fight long before they were.

“How did I ruin it, anyway? Not like I had a role in it.” Grimnir asked. He was clutching his stomach. He had gotten himself impaled on one of the enemy's lances.

Alexiel chewed her lip. He wasn't involved. How could he ruin something he wasn't a part of or even aware of? What did he even do wrong in the first place?

He was tired of chasing something he would never obtain. He once yearned for power, an army stretching to the edges of the sky.

He was no leader. Just a selfish brat.

All he would do is whine and beg. He wondered when the others would grow sick of it, take away his lance and powers, cast him down into the mortal realm, where he would sell himself off or live a desolate, regrettable life.

“Why do you continue to act the way that you do?” Shiva asked. Grimnir was on the ground, guts spilling into the dirt. He had survived worse, but this was definitely up there.

“Because there's nothing else for me to do.”

“So you sacrifice yourself?!”

“I distract the enemy. You three can only get to work once something happens. I keep it busy until you three can kick the foe’s ass.”

Shiva seemed slightly repulsed by his wording. Grimnir didn't care.

“We are not truly immortal beings, you know.”

Grimnir nodded. He was very well aware.

“If you continue to abuse your powers and body like this, you will perish.”

_Exactly. That is why I do it._

Maybe that's why he was such a pain. He was too _mortal._ He easily showed the most emotions out of the four of them, reacted strongly to things, the way humans did.

As non-humans they hated that concept. The extremes in emotions, the mortal reactions to things. All things, save for death. 

Grimnir’s bloodlust had long disappeared, now replaced by a lust for pain, a way to fill the odd feelings in his chest. It was addicting, the rush of internal chemicals to deal with a wound. The energy, the sting, the blood, the guts, the _burn._

They were trying to break the habit.

They left him back at their base. Alone, most of the time. Sometimes Shiva would leave his snake to guard him if he was too rowdy. 

Those were the best days. The beast would keep an eye on him, as promised. But Grimnir knew what the beast was capable of.

He initially wished the deed upon his lance, but he did not wish to tarnish such a gift with his blood. It would certainly get the job done, he knew.

The snake had a name, Grimnir pondered to himself. He could not remember it, a jumble of words that only sounded correct falling from Shiva’s lips.

The snake was very, very hard to tempt. He did not know how to make the thing angry, the beast just as stoic and composed as its master.

But slowly, he learned. He annoyed Shiva, annoyed him so much that he was left with the snake again. The snake was not composed at all, just as peeved as its master.

He attempted to escape, to which the snake responded by simply blowing small puffs of fire at him.

It felt like the burning field.

“Come on, you need to do much more than that, you know.” Grimnir said, pushing the thing away with ease. Shiva had ordered it to be nonlethal. That was a pain.

What if it was close to death? Would it behave so carefully then, too? Would an animal follow its master if its own life was at stake?

The snake merely glared at him. He was getting a bit annoyed. It shouldn't be this hard to die, honestly…

His hand lashed out, grabbing the thing by the head, bringing it close to his neck. His other hand latched onto the writhing body, slowly starting to crush the area he could only assume the heart would be.

It writhed, muscles fighting against his grip. He released the head, instantly met with the greatest heat he had ever felt in his life.

Was this what being kissed by him would be like? The fire pressing against his neck, shooting through his veins? The feeling of burning from the inside? 

He didn't know if this would kill him, but if it didn't, he was going to abuse this power, hands down. The heat was just as, if even more addictive than the pain of a sword or bow or lance.

The snake wouldn't let go. He didn't want it too. His cheeks were already hot, somehow growing even more so as his eyes began to grow heavy. He wished to fall asleep in this warmth. He found it comforting. Much more comforting than any blankets or embraces he had ever owned or received.

He had received less than a dozen embraces in the many centuries he has lived.

The warmth just kept filling him, his eyes closing softly, every muscle in his body relaxing in turn.

There were noises, seeming to be far, far away from him. Far away from the bliss.

He felt someone move him, shift him around.

A heat. A different one. An external heat, the same temperature as the one inside of him. It meshed perfectly with the bliss he had been slowly emerging himself in.

He realized, slowly, as the last muscles started to relax, that the heat around him wasn't just any old contact. It was an embrace.

An embrace from _him._

An embrace from Shiva. Burning into his skin, meeting the fire burning outwards. Meeting in the middle and consuming him whole.


	2. Gates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If any question deserved to be asked, it was this one.
> 
>  
> 
> _Why the hell do I feel this way?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ended up liking this story a lot and also developed it quite a bit, so here you go. Its an actual story now.

Grimnir awoke in a bed that was not his. _Definitely_ not his.

The sheets were soft and high quality, to start with, and there was an actual _mattress_ underneath him, an army of plush pillows surrounding him. Everything was shades of red, all bordered with gold, splashes of blacks and purples breaking up the mostly monochrome sea.

He assumed that Shiva would have a palace. He was correct in that assumption.

They did not _need_ homes, but all four of them had one anyway. Mostly for hosting guests or mortals who wished to either challenge them, or seek counsel.

Europa’s grand palace surprised no one, the great halls of white and blue decorated with lush flowers and vast pools, hosting all the sea life you could ever imagine.

Alexiel’s home was more… quaint. Just a stone cottage in the mountains, where she began and ended very one of her patrols.

Shiva's palace, from what he had experienced in the past, was similar to Europa's in the size and scale, but the contents and architecture were all different. Everything was coated in intricate patterns or vast murals, depicting legends of mortals, actual history, or even just the story of Shiva's times with Michael.

Grimnir suspected that there was a mural dedicated to Shiva, Europa, and Alexiel somewhere in the Palace. Maybe he was in it too.

A little mess of green and white, dying from a stab wound below the other three.

He sat up, expecting his body to cry out in protest, but it did not.

“Why did you feel the need to drag Vasuki into… whatever game you are playing?”

Ah. Shiva was in the room with him. If only he knew that this was not really a game anymore.

He looked over towards the door, to where the man stood. He traded his armour for more comfortable clothes, a black tunic, custom made for his four arms, over a pair of loose silver pants. He held the snake- Vasuki- cradled in his lower set of arms, much like one would hold a baby, or maybe an injured pet. The snake acted like it was ashamed, trying to bury its head in its master's arms.

“I felt like it would be an insult to Lord Raphael to use my lance.”

“So you used the _Snake.”_

“What else did I have handy? I would hate to offend you by using one of your own weapons. Blood is very hard to scrub from filigree, I'll have you know.”

Shiva wasn't having _any_ of it. He glared down at Grimnir.

“Well, if you don't wish to bother yourself with me anymore, I'll take my leave!” Grimnir chimed, climbing out of bed. He was dressed in a light tunic. He had no idea where his clothes were. He had no idea where his _lance_ was. Not that he really cared and the current moment.

He wanted to get _out._

Shiva stood in front of the doorway. “No.”

“Huh?”

“You will not be leaving here until you stop this behavior.”

_For the love of Bahamut… I don’t wanna be stuck here forever…_

Grimnir pouted. He wanted to argue, but knew it was futile. “I'm assuming I will not have my lance during that time?”

Shiva’s expression confirmed his suspicion. 

_Well. This is just **great.**_

“Well what the hell am I supposed to do?”

“Meditate on your situation.”

_Oh wow. So fucking enlightening. That's just gonna solve all my fucking problems._

“And I take it I'm gonna be locked in here until I do so?”

Shiva shook his head. “You may go anywhere you like in the Palace.”

“Is this my room, or yours?”

Shiva did not answer, giving him a cryptic look before leaving the room, Vasuki in hand.

_Well. Here we are._

He looked around the room, there was a large mirror taking up nearly an entire wall by the door, partially covered by curtains. The opposite wall seemed to just be a massive window, also covered by thick red cloth.

Carefully peeling back the fabric, he looked out into the garden, or perhaps maybe a courtyard. It was flooded with exotic plants, many of which Grimnir himself was unfamiliar with.

He brushed the fabric back into place, turning and moving towards the door. 

_At least I have access to fresh air…_

The sunbaked cobblestones warmed his bare feet. He shielded his eyes, looking at the vast beds of flowers, trees casting spotty shadows, defying the bright sun.

He knew it was likely an illusion. The sun only looked like this below the clouds. On the islands of the mortals. This whole palace was just a bubble, floating between the islands and the vast expanses of space.

It was pretty realistic. For an illusion. Perhaps only parts of it was truly false. The flowers and leaves felt like the real thing, small specks of dirt on the stone paths showing some form of activity.

Strolling through the lush foliage, he was drawn to the sound of running water.

He smirked, looking at the massive mosaic on the gates that stood before him. Streams of water flowed from a tiled fountain, traveling through small channels in the cobblestones. That is not what drew his attention, he could care less about some random water feature.

What he did care about was an exit. It was a very pretty exit, a wall surrounding the palace, embellished with beautiful mosaics, friezes, and frescoes. Gilded gates, shimmering in the afternoon light.

It was _right there!_ How could he possibly resist?

With the confidence of a filthy rich fool, he walked to the gates, arms outstretched.

In a hiss of steam, the clanking of gears flooded his ears, his arms failing to retract back in time-

The golden haliberds of the Automatons stopped right before they could take off his arms. They were beautiful machines, golden and gleaming, encrusted with jewels and delicate carvings. The regal helmets and flowing lines of the armour bore a striking resemblance to that of Colossus. Perhaps they were prototypes.

Regardless, they were obviously under orders to not harm him.

The gold armour shone so clearly, it was like glass. His head turned, looking at his own reflection in the metal.

He looked _bad._ Worse than usual. His eyes were sunken, shadows heavy on the angles of his face. White hair was sticking up all over the place, contrasting the deep purple mark that stained his pale complexion. Most of his neck and down his shoulder, his skin looked much more like that of Shiva’s. Despite the bruise, the area did not hurt.

Pulling back from the Automatons, he wandered through the gardens, back into the hall. _Curse this body… Of course I could survive something like that… Unless… Well. I wouldn’t find it odd if he attempted to save me…_

Grimnir turned, brows furrowing. His feet had tracked in dirt, light brown footprints marking the floors. It felt… rude. Why would Shiva want to keep someone like him here? How was this a good idea?

Goosebumps crawled up his skin. This felt _wrong_ , so, so wrong.

The tan marks on the floor were blurred by his steps, weaving through the ornate halls back to the gardens. He had gotten lost, taking too many odd turns. The only thing guiding him was his own filthy footprints.

He almost slipped on the smooth tile as the started running, almost skidding past the doors. Refusing to slow down, he bolted through the gardens, towards the gates. His heart was in a vice, _something_ was hurting him. No, not hurting- pain was still something he could find comfort in- but an _ache._ For what, he did not know. 

Stopping before the gates, he allowed his breath to catch up. His chest was tight, ribs being binded by some invisible force. The gates shined in the most beautiful manner, whispering promises of freedom, the temptation of the open skies.

He approached them, keeping his arms closer, this time around. Slinking into the shade of the great wall, he slowly stepped forward, waiting for the Automatons to strike.

The metal was warm, the sun having gazed upon it for so long. He started to push the gate open, pausing as he felt gusts of air whip by his neck.

He didn’t need to look to know that the haliberds were seconds away from decapitating him.

_So close... If only they would finish the job._

Sun beating down on him, he stood there. Almost… _ashamed._

The wetness on his cheek surprised him. He hadn’t cried in a very, very long time. The painted phoenixes on the walls seemed to mock him, staring at him in his fragments of glory, stone still, so close to escape. He couldn’t bring himself to finally push the gates open, reach for freedom at the risk of his head.

The sunset burned his eyes, washing him in long shadows and a glaze of red. Paler than that of the brushfire, much, much paler than the flames of-

“Stand down.”

The golden soldiers hissed and clicked as they moved away from Grimnir, returning to their default positions.

“Grimnir. You are to dine with me.”

He didn’t want to turn around and face him. He didn’t want to have to look at Shiva, let alone have a meal with him. Shiva’s eyes bore into his back, and his grip tightened on the gates.

“...As you wish.”

***

Grimnir had attended perhaps 7 formal dinners in his life, most of them when his body was still that of a youth. He didn’t remember much of them, being present at the table for one or two courses before being shoved out by Lord Raphael.

Can’t say he was missing much. He was hardly an interesting person to sit down with, and the pomp and circumstance was often lost on him. 

First thing that struck him was how small the table was. The dining room was very… intimate. This was surely no banquet hall, a simple table with two comfortable chairs in a cozy room.

Food was already set out, still steaming. Grimnir was quite certain Shiva was incapable of making food that looked appetizing, but he continued to be surprised by the man.

_How much did I actually know about him to begin with? Who is he?_

_Why does he care?_

They ate in silence, the largely unbroken air punctuated by the clattering of utensils. The food was plain, but good. He didn’t feel like flavor that night. The scent of spice that was emitted from Shiva’s dish nearly made him sick, but he didn’t feel the need to speak up.

The fact that they were dining was puzzling on its own. They did not need to eat, only doing so for pleasure or to regain energy in emergencies. Neither of those conditions were met. 

The fork clicked against the empty plate, and he wiped his hands off, standing up from the table.

Shiva didn’t even look up as he exited the room, serenely storming down the halls, trying to get his bearings. He didn’t want to look at the ornate brushstrokes, or intricate tiles. Walls of art mocked him, a great silver archer shooting down a man in a broken chariot, odd trunked creatures adorned with patterns and jewels. 

Something was gripping at his heart and he didn’t know why. There were stones tied to his breastbone, pressing down upon his lungs. Lord Raphael had told him long, long ago, so long ago it was possibly his earliest memory- that he talked way too much, and asked far too many questions.

If any question deserved to be asked, it was this one.

_Why the hell do I feel this way?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, Criticism, and Kudos are very much encouraged!
> 
> I have a [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ConfuzzledSheep?lang=en) where you can come and yell at me!


	3. Reflections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I didn’t know snakes could even be embarrassed…._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHO'S BACK ON THEIR BULL SHIT ITS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cold tiles pressed against his feet, pillows and blankets that had been kicked off in the night littering the floor around him. Slivers of light shone through the curtains, adding a soft glow to the dark room.

Grimnir was exhausted. He was hungry, he probably looked horrible, and he smelled like Bahamut’s morning breath.

Blankly staring at the snake in front of him, he waved his hand in greeting.

“Morning.”

The snake made a little huffing sound. It was wearing a strange little apparatus, wrapping around its body, a small platform allowing it to slither while carrying what appeared to be a bath towel.

“I know Shiva sent you. Just show me to the baths.”

The snake- Vasuki, if he remembered correctly- nodded, before slithering towards the door.

Grimnir rubbed his eyes as he followed behind the creature, surprised to find that the halls were quite warm. Well, warmer than he expected. The murals were quite pretty in the morning light, many of the ones decorating this hall that of a historical origin, Michael and Shiva himself being frequent figures.

_Never would have thought of him as someone so… self centered…_

He almost lost track of the massive snake, spending a bit too long gazing at the intricate details in the scrollwork on Shiva’s armour. It was a near perfect copy of the real thing.

The mosaic work in the baths was breathtaking, but Grimnir didn’t pay much mind. He didn’t want to have any breath that could be taken away. 

Vasuki dodged the clothes that were thrown in their general direction. They seemed confused at first, failing to realize why such a thing was occurring. Turning towards the god, they quickly understood, hiding their head away.

Grimnir almost laughed. There was no reason why a _Magic Snake_ would need to be so flustered! 

He fiddled with the straps on the pack, unlatching all the towels and placing them on a marble bench. Vasuki continued to hide their head, squirming as he tried to remove everything. As soon as he was done, the snake slithered away and out the door as fast as they could, leaving Grimnir a tad bit confused.

_I didn’t know snakes could even be embarrassed…._

A lacquer basket of soaps and oils almost tripped him, sitting by the edge of the large bathing pool. Regaining his balance, he carefully circled the pool, trying to figure out where he could actually step in- the depth was unreadable. 

Finally finding a set of steps, he submerged himself in the steaming water.

He had no idea how long he lounged about, but by the time he decided to exit the pool, a fresh set of clothes had been laid out for him.

Water dripped to the floor as he toweled himself off. Glancing forwards, he almost jumped back in shock. 

_Gods above. That’s **me.**_

Failing to realize that there was a grand mirror before him, he was spooked by his own reflection.

Quite pitiful, in his opinion.

Drawing his focus away from the disgusting image that graced his sight, he finished drying off, slipping on the new set of clothes.

Silvers and whites with a green trim and the accents of pink. The same color of his eye.

He didn’t know wether to be flattered or creeped out. He hated that color. It had not always bore hard feelings in his mind, but after the-

Shaking the water from his hair, he went to grab his old clothes. Finding them gone, he calmly walked out the door.

The murals in this section were all about the primals and the archangels, and if he followed the pattern he had noticed before-

Then he might just be able to confirm his earlier suspicion.

***

“So you’ve gotten _no leads.”_ Alexiel grumbled, slouched in a velvet chair.

Shiva shook his head, Vasuki wrapped around his neck, their head buried in the collar of his black tunic. 

“Then why do you keep him around? Just let him go and have him do his own thing!” She growled, gesturing to the door.

Europa was reclining on a couch nearby, brows softly furrowed. “We cannot afford to leave him do his own devices, well, not up here anyway… Who knows what he may do…”

“So I will keep him contained.” Shiva stated plainly. He failed to see why this discussion needed to happen, he had everything under control.

“He is not your responsibility Shiva! Raphael refuses to acknowledge him, and Freyr is off doing… _Something_ in the Silverwind Stretch, just let him go! Cast him down to the mortal realm! He loves the humans, does he not!?” Alexiel barked, standing up, fists clenched.

Europa shot up as well, grabbing onto the woman’s forearm. “Alexiel!”

“I will not cast him down.”

“Why are you pouring your resources upon him!? This goes far beyond pure duty- far beyond the standards of comrades!” She said, her tone starting to betray her, letting the tightly guarded concern seep into her words.

“I do so because I want to.”

“Shiva! He will destroy you! You may have the elemental superiority- but you are weak to him in other ways, we are both well aware of that, and-”

“You cannot let yourself get too attached.”

Europa’s stark words cut through the tense atmosphere that was mounting inside the study.

“Grimnir has a stronghold on you that he is unaware of. You’re soft on him, we recognize that, but the things that we love the most are also the things that ruin us the most.” She said, a strangely stoic air surrounding her.

“Be careful with him. He’s likely much more powerful than we give him credit for.” She added calmly, dragging Alexiel with her as she serenely walked out of the door.

The dark wood slammed shut, the sound echoing throughout the room.

When he could no longer hear the footsteps in the hall, his face descended into his hands, his lower arms crossed upon the desk.

Vasuki squirmed, head retracting from the soft fabric of their master’s clothes.

“You guided him to the baths?”

The snake nodded.

Shiva sighed, removing his palms from his face. Vasuki’s sudden bashfulness confused him, his companion starting to tremble slightly.

“What happened?”

Vasuki refused to answer, even in their shared tongue.

He signed again, raising an eyebrow slightly, trying to get a solid answer out of them. Vasuki complied quickly enough, squeaking out their story.

Shiva was nearly bright red at the end of it. Hearing such a thing was likely very poor taste, but… Hopefully his extreme bashfulness would allow for him to be forgiven this time around.

“Vasuki, you need not apologize, it was not your fault.” He said, stroking the white scales of his friend’s head.

The serpent bowed their head, resting it in a second hand. Holding Vasuki steady, he stood up, opening the doors and calmly walking into the hall.

_I cannot be doing wrong, It’s simply impossible. Caring for Grimnir is simply my duty, and I will fulfill it, regardless of the cost._

***

He was right. There were paintings of him.

Whether or not he liked them was… questionable. 

The winding halls had shoved him in the general direction of a sunroom, perhaps something else, not that he was particularly well-versed in these kinds of things.

Regardless of what the room could be called, it was massive, with huge panes of glass allowing the sun to shine through. At the end of the Hall there were a series of four portraits, in a style very much unlike all the other paintings in the palace.

Low and behold, next to the portrait of Shiva, was his own smirking face, pink eye seeming to shimmer in the light. 

It was a perfect representation, every hair in its usual spot, the wrinkles on his face, the details of the eyes, it was _perfect._

He found himself scanning for an artist signature, finding it underneath Europa’s painting.

_So Caro, huh. Weird. I know who he is, but… I’ve never met him in my life…_

Standing before the art, he had no idea how long he remained there, only that the sound of someone entering the room snapped him out of it. Turning, he saw Shiva push the door open, face wearing an expression of deep thought, entering the room with a comfort than enabled him to not notice Grimnir at all.

It was strange. He never saw Shiva like this. He never saw Shiva look so… _worried._

_I do hope he’s not worried about me. Worrying about me would be a waste of breath. Well, waste of thought, in this case._

Shiva was about halfway into the room, petting Vasuki while rubbing his temples, seemingly sick of thinking. Suddenly, he glanced up, realizing Grimnir’s presence in the room.

“Oh, Grimnir. Good morning.”

“Good morning to you too.” Grimnir said, bowing slightly.

“I hope the bath was too your liking.” Shiva asked, stepping towards him.

“It was indeed.”

Shiva didn’t seem completely assured. “I will be greeting guests in this room for the remainder of the day, if you would care to join me-”

“I will politely decline. I would hate to hinder you, Lord Shiva.” Grimnir said, bowing his head. Shiva seemed to struggle for words, and he took the opportunity to walk right out the door.

The sound bounced off the walls, as punctual and direct as a gunshot. Shiva was stunned, Vasuki looking towards the door, blinking slowly.

A feeling of… deep…- Shiva could not put words on it. He did not know what he was feeling, only that hurt him. Grimnir had never referred to him as ‘Lord Shiva’ before, and the way he said it-

He didn’t want that. He did not want Grimnir to suddenly set them apart, make a point of his perceived inferiority. Grimnir was his equal, his friend, his brother his arms, the man Shiva-

_Oh. Well. That explains a thing or two._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment, leave kudos, bookmark... Whatever it is y'all do!
> 
> I have a [Twitter!!!](https://twitter.com/ConfuzzledSheep) Where you can follow me or yell at me, whatever you prefer!


	4. Reaching Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If this was anyone else, Shiva would have stood up and left. But this was _Grimnir,_ so the usual course of action was out the window.

The garden was much colder at night.

Grimnir had grown tired of the mattress, unable to sleep in its plush embrace. He had taken the cheapest blanket he could find, and dragged it with him to the courtyard. 

Five days. It had been five days since he was brought here. His routine was pretty standard. Wake up, scavenge breakfast from the kitchens, and marvel as the meals were magically created by a small army of Automatons, very much like the Guards at the garden gates. Then he would wander the halls for the better part of the day, admiring the artwork, avoiding Shiva as much as possible. Shiva would insist to dine with him in the evenings, and after their meal, Grimnir would bathe and go to sleep.

It was a boring routine, but it was easier to succumb than to struggle. Well, it was easier in his current state. Not like anyone else would open their doors to him.

The dirt was soft underneath him. Nestling himself in a rare patch of loose foliage, the blanket snagged on twigs. He didn’t care. This was much more familiar than an actual bed. It reminded him of his brief time with Yggdrasil. 

_Amazing to think she and Alexiel share the same element… Alex couldn’t grow a plant to save her life…_

Looking upwards, he smiled a bit. The illusion must be pulled away at night, the stars glistening above him. 

He missed them. He loved his ‘home’ above the wall of wind, the great shield that protected the earth.

He wondered if the other three had been up there. Seen the vastness that lay beyond the confines of their planet. This world couldn’t contain the only beings out there, he was sure of it. 

He could likely _prove_ it. If he had the energy to do so.

Something was slithering next to him. Probably Vasuki. Not that he minded much, he doubted the serpent would hurt him.

And even if they did, he wouldn’t be very mad about it.

***

Shiva was much busier than a god had any right to be. He did not _need_ to host all these events, but he did so anyway. Mostly because he brought in the highest attendance of invites, but also due to how… “Friendly” his palace was. Europa’s home was also well suited, but she was very much appalled by the idea of having guests that ate meat in her own home. (There were also a few incidents involving Ca Ong that were never spoken of after the fact.)

Of the attempts to shuffle the hosting duty around, all had failed. Leviathan couldn’t fit that many guests into their small cave at the bottom of the Auguste sea, Colossus didn’t even know what a party _was,_ Yggdrasil was kind enough to _try_ , but the Rose Queen quickly grew sick of Gilgamesh’s and Hector’s antics while intoxicated, so she Vetoed all parties thereafter.

So that left him to be the host. Typically it was simple, put the Automatons to work early in the day, ensure the great hall is presentable, set up a few guards to prevent romantic pairs from sneaking off into the more remote bedrooms and engaging in… Carnal activities. Especially in his room. Had Europa and Alexiel not been his closest allies, (And Europa not a terrifying force of nature) they would be specks upon the dust of the earth. Squashed like flies upon the islands.

Pacing had long bored him, currently sitting at his desk and staring almost vacantly at the papers in front of him. The planning of the party was muscle memory to him at this point, he had done it a thousand times. But with Grimnir in his care… It was different.

Very few Primals _liked_ Grimnir, and fewer than that were indifferent in their opinions of him. Every Wind primal had a pretty strong opinion of him, the Fire primals were mostly annoyed by him. Those of Water didn’t care. The only ones who seemed to tolerate him were the Earth primals.

The fact was, Grimnir was never invited to these parties. He knew they existed, but he was too much of a liability. Too unpopular.

Shiva had never given that fact much thought, and reflecting back upon his feelings around it, he wondered why he didn’t invite the man anyway. Perhaps the added stress? The subsequent lowering of attendance?

Maybe the added distraction of his graceful, lithe body clad in flowing clothes, armour and lance long abandoned, traded out for something more modern, more-

One of his hands gently smacked his cheek. He couldn’t think about Grimnir like that. Not when Grimnir was acting this way. Not when he was so close too…

To taking his own life. Shiva refused to allow himself to take advantage of the man while in such a state. He would wait until Grimnir had begun to reflect upon his actions and recognize the source of his emotions. 

_Now to hope that I am patient enough…_

Sighing, he tried to turn his attention back to the papers, flipping through the routine to-do lists, adding to the RSVP lineup. The oil lamp next to him was flickering.

He couldn’t focus, not tonight. 

With a snap of his fingers, the lamps went out in the room, the lights flickering of as he walked down the halls.

An open door caught his eye. The door to his- now Grimnir’s room, was slightly ajar. Cautiously, he peeked inside.

Grimnir was nowhere to be found.

His heart started drumming like an airship engine. Where did he go? Is he alright???

Without thinking, he started running towards the garden. He knew that Vasuki liked to wander, and highly suspected the serpent might know of Grimnir’s whereabouts.

The faint sound of crickets filled the air, and he glanced around the plant beds, looking for anything that might signify Vasuki’s location.

Taking a few deep breaths, he started wandering the paths, looking for anything out of place.

_Hm? Is that… It is!_

Bolting towards the odd white mass, he pushed away the foliage, trying to untangle the blanket from the bush.

He stopped when he saw Grimnir, curled up in the dirt.

_Is he- no, no, he must me asleep, he has to be asleep!-_

The dirt covered his knees as he kneeled down, picking Grimnir up, cradling him in his lower set of arms. The man was breathing, and was most definitely alive, but he was still concerned. 

Grabbing the blanket and picking up Vasuki, he climbed out of the bushes, trying to keep Grimnir steady and secure as he made his way back to his room.

He pushed the door open with his foot, carefully stepping over all the scattered pillows. Dirt sprinkled onto the sheets but Shiva didn’t care at the moment, and he doubted Grimnir did either.

Carefully, he set Grimnir down onto the bed, pulling the sheets up over his shoulders.

If this was anyone else, Shiva would have stood up and left. But this was _Grimnir,_ so the usual course of action was out the window.

He couldn’t pull his eyes away. Grimnir looked calm when he was asleep. Relaxed. Like he was before… all of this. Before immortality became an obstacle for him. Before he started doing such reckless things. 

Shiva knew it would never be the same, it would be impossible to return to such a state after an epiphany like that. But something in him was… unhappy with the current state. He didn’t like how Grimnir was acting, he wanted to… 

He wanted to fix it. 

He sat on the side of the bed, looking over the primal. Reaching a trembling hand out, he brushed back some hair. His chest ached, which was illogical, Grimnir didn’t weigh that much, and he wasn’t moving very quickly-

_Oh. Yes. Love. That is what I feel for him. This is why I want him to be safe, and why my body reacts in such a way-_

Warm arms around his waist cut off his train of thought. Grimnir was shifting, mumbling something. Something that sounded a lot like “hmmm mm Shiiiivv….”.

_Maybe that is a bit of a stretch… He could not have truly said that-_

Sitting stone still, he allowed Grimnir to adjust himself in his sleep, only daring to move once he had settled down.

He swallowed, hand once again moving to Grimnir’s head, fingers weaving through the fine, white hairs. It was soothing, like petting Vasuki.

The snake in question had slithered off of his shoulders and curled up next to Grimnir, using his natural heat to keep warm.

A small smile tugged at his lips. That was unbelievably cute. He wished to view this sight every morning, if he could.

Glancing out the window pulled him away from his simple dream. It was getting late, and he should probably leave Grimnir, but something was keeping him there.

Mentally _and_ physically.

He was stuck. Grimnir’s arms were now a vice grip around him, head pressed against his stomach.

_Oh well. Not like I’m particularly upset._

***

The bed Shiva had provided for him had gotten much more comfortable throughout the progression of the night.

It was… well. He couldn’t put words on it yet. It was much, much too early for that. He needed at _least_ half an hour to actually kick his brain into functioning. 

Grimnir was clutching something unbelievably comfortable and unbelievably warm. The sheets hadn’t been kicked off in the night, and he actually had a pillow under his head. It had been a long time since he had experienced a peaceful evening, most dreams a combination of horrific memories and unreal interactions, leading to his body fighting unknown foes in his sleep.

This was so much better than waking up on the floor.

He wasn’t quite awake enough to even dare considering opening his eyes completely, but he did wish to see what he was clutching so strongly.

_Gods above. That’s a snake._

Vasuki was curled up in a ball, wrapped around a pillow, cocooned in a blanket.

A warmth tingled around his shoulders. A deeply felt warmth, seeping through his body.

Shiva’s warmth.

Glancing around the room, he saw that the man in question was nowhere to be found.

_He must have carried me inside…_

Something about that realization made him feel strange. Guilt was heavy upon his shoulders, mind singing tunes of shame.

Placing more blankets on Vasuki, he left, moonlight still gleaming through the windows.

The evening breeze rustled the leaves, crickets long silenced.

The brick was cold on his bare soles. He was a fool, letting the wool be pulled over his eyes like that. How could he be so _dumb-_ How could he forget something he was so good at?! Something that _defined_ who he was!?

The moons gazed down upon him. It was the time of year where you could see three of them.

They gazed down upon him, and he reached an arm up to the heavens, hoping one of those milky disks in the sky would fall from their dark home and pull him back into the shimmering blackness.

He wanted to go back, back to the upper limits of the skies, wallow in his own misery up there-

Pulling his hand back to his side, he bounced from foot to foot.

The crisp air sailed through his nose, whispering over his tongue as he readied himself, looking up at the moon he so loved.

His feet barely made a sound, pushing off of the dry, stony path- one step after another, after another, another, another-

The wall seemed so small now, the guards painted in shadow, the jewels still gleaming. They were none the wiser.

Sailing over the great paintings, into the vast sky beyond- it was exhilarating. He hadn’t felt this way since the bite.

His hair was whipping as he flew forward, arm cautiously reaching, the moon nearly in his hands-

So close, and yet, so far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha yall tired of my bullshit now?????????????????
> 
> Anyway, I have a [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ConfuzzledSheep?lang=en) where you can yell at me! You can also yell at me in the comments here!


	5. Dreaming in Color

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chest heaving, he almost wanted to laugh. Of _course_ there was a barrier. A shield. He should have seen it coming, really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Putting light porn into my fics? Its more likely than you think.

The heat was _exciting._

The way it burned, the deep, deep heat…

One could suggest that perhaps the fire took on an even sexual nature, the association forged in many, many dreams of Shiva’s touch, the way he felt-

As soon as it was there, it was gone. Sweet, sweet heat ripped away from him as he was sent flying back, reaching for the red ring that overlapped the moon.

His back slammed against stone and metal, freezing water flooding over him, drenching his clothes, soothing the loving burns.

Chest heaving, he almost wanted to laugh. Of _course_ there was a barrier. A shield. He should have seen it coming, really.

He should have used it sooner.

The water of the fountain gurgled and sputtered as he stood.

His steps made a grotesque sound, the splashing and smacking of his feet on the brick, puddles beginning to form. 

The water made the wind much colder, and made the burn last much longer.

Rich reds filled his vision, flooding everything as he pressed himself against the flaming field.

For a moment, he could see past it. Into the upper layers of the sky. Not as high as he was, not as close to the stars–but the darkness called to him.

Yanked back, violently pulled away from such a dream–was torture!

The stones in the fountain cracked, metal groaning and crumpling underneath the force.

Hacking laughs from his throat, he stood once again, hobbling back up, eyes trained on to the moon.

His next step forward was restrained, something grabbing at his ankle.

Vasuki was gripping onto him as tightly as they could, white scales shining and their body shivering under the icy water.

“You know that’s not enough.” Grimnir said calmly, soft smile cutting like a knife. The serpent trembled. They did not wish to injure Grimnir again, but the mystery of their Master’s reaction to Grimnir escaping was frightening.

Grimnir’s heart was trembling. He _needed_ that burn, the deeply intimate one only Shiva could give him. The poison was close, so, so close to that addicting passion–

Despite perhaps better judgement, he yanked the snake from his leg, grabbing their head and bringing up to his own.

“We _both_ know it’s not enough. Make me _feel_ it-” He hissed, smile widening as he clamped down upon the serpent’s neck.

The large beast struggled against his hold, trying to work itself free.

Grimnir wasn’t letting them go this time–he was a _god_ for crying out loud, he could absolutely destroy the serpent in front of him, and he was very sure Vasuki knew that too.

“You’re gonna behave now, right? Hurt me good?”

The snake stopped struggling, mouth pried open by Grimnir’s fingers.

His heart was fluttering in anticipation, reveling in the feeling of Vasuki’s fangs entering his shoulder. Soon enough, that one would be just as bruised as the other.

A sigh escaped from his lips. He would never grow tired of this heat, how it spread up his neck and caressed his cheek, seeped into his shoulder and brushed past his collar bone.

Many nights of wild, highly inappropriate dreams nearly coming to life. There was no way in hell he was going to stop this.

Not now, and maybe not ever.

***

Shiva should have been more prepared for this.

He should have known something like this would happen again. That Grimnir would abuse his power, find every possible way to hurt himself.

He was a fool to have Vasuki keep an eye on him, considering what had transpired not too long ago. He should have tried to keep him indoors-

Cutting off his mental rambling, he looked over at Grimnir. The man was resting, chest only slightly moving. The venom had spread further than it had the first time, the bruise snaking all the way up to his cheek and down past his collarbone. 

Locking Grimnir in his room was a terrible idea, and would certainly only make him yearn for death more passionately. The palace didn’t have enough spare automatons to assemble a flying guard, and letting Grimnir roam alone with Vasuki was pretty risky…

His brows furrowed as he stroked his companion’s smooth scales. The poor thing was horrified, but Shiva didn’t blame them for what had occurred. He knew it was Grimnir’s taunting and violent actions that had caused both bites, and Shiva was grateful that Vasuki obeyed, not wanting to lose his closest friend.

Not that Grimnir was unimportant to him. If anything, Grimnir was far beyond the title of friend. What he truly was to Shiva continued to evade him. 

Vasuki nuzzled against his hand, trying to get him to move from the chair.

“I have no tasks to attend to, you know.”

The serpent shook their head, warily turning to Grimnir, who was beginning to move in his sleep. 

Confused, Shiva reached a hand out, placing the back of his against his forehead, where sweat was starting to gather.

“He has a fever… Vasuki, is he sick?” Shiva was unsure if primals could even become sick, but he asked anyway. He knew for a fact that Vasuki’s venom did not cause fevers.

Huffing at him, Vasuki hissed, attempting to explain it in their shared tongue.

“As I thought… then why is he behaving that way? He must be ill!” Shiva grumbled, motioning to the man, who was now twitching and squirming in his sleep.

Vasuki refused to back down, Shiva’s brow creasing as he looked at them. “I do not like the idea of leaving you in here alone with him. What do you mean that I would be intruding? I merely wish to help him, I fail to see how that is rude.”

The snake continued to butt their head against his torso, and eventually, he relented. He needed to eat anyway. 

***

He was so hot.

Skin nearly peeling from his flesh with every brush of Shiva’s fingers.

He knew this was a dream- maybe even that ‘heaven’ Sandalphon had brought up every once and awhile- but it felt so real he didn’t care.

He may never wake up from this dream, and that was fine with him.

A pair of hands ran up his torso, one running through his hair, pushing back his bangs, the fourth one around his waist, pulling him close.

This was so much better than the bites- the heat seeped deeper into him, melting him into a pile of raw emotion he didn't even know he had.

Hands on his cheek made him whimper, and he was pulled closer to the warmth of this fictional rendition of Shiva. 

It felt too good to be true. There was a comfort to it, the fires no longer burning across his skin, now just a familiar, loving embrace.

He started choking in his throat. This was what he was dreaming of? This was what was lurking in the deepest pits of his mind?

Why were these textbook renditions of love intertwined with his deepest fantasies? The gross things he wished to practice not only upon his own body but Shiva’s? 

Fingers running down the deep purple bruises and a hand lovingly rubbing circles in his back. He loved this, revelled in this, but he knew it was nothing more than a fantasy.

He was undeserving of this treatment, and he wasn't so dumb as to forget such a fact. He had been ignorant to his own flaws for far too long, letting them fester in the minds of others until they consumed all of who he was.

Maybe there was little festering at all.

There was a hand running through his hair again, cupping his cheek, a hot breath against his lips-

He shot up in the bed, drenched in sweat and tears.

Peeling his clothes from his body, he could feel his heart racing. He was still unbelievably aroused- something that he knew he would need to take care of as soon as he could.

Clothes discarded in the corner, he shivered. The movement had caused an icy pain from his right shoulder, the venom likely still eating away at him. _Damn- that’s not the pain I want… that actually **hurts…**_

Burying his head in the pillows, he tried to calm his breathing. The lingering of an unfamiliar scent- sandalwood and smoke, likely the scent of Shiva- had the opposite effect.

Tugging the covers over his shoulders, he ran a hand down the inside of his thigh. If he focused hard enough, he might be able to trick himself.

Closing his eyes, he took another deep breath, trying to take in more of the scent. He was far beyond chastising himself for doing such grotesque things, his body responding to the stimulus with a shiver, soft heat concentrating on his face and in his abdomen.

He gripped the inside of his thigh, his other hand lightly trailing down his stomach. He was extremely hard, he'd never been this turned on by a dream before. It wasn't the first dream he had experienced with Shiva, and it likely wasn't the last either.

If only he had extra arms… then he would be able to get even closer to the real thing. Or what he could imagine the real thing to be.

He wanted Shiva to hold him. Arms around his waist, hands grabbing at his arms and wrists, holding him down or guiding his body into pleasing positions or the perfect angle.

The ice at his shoulder hurt. He wanted to pour hot coals over it, bring back the heat, bring some life to the imaginary kisses he would never receive. 

His hips jumped when he finally wrapped a hand around his arousal. It wasn't as warm as he wanted it to be, but it would suffice.

Slowly pumping up and down, he tried to push the dissatisfaction from his mind. His hands were too lean and thin, too cold and soft. Shiva's were large and warm and had calluses that would feel so _different…_ So _good_ on his skin.

And there would be _four hands_ to boot… Grimnir wanted to do disgusting things to those hands… no one in their right mind would want to shove another person's fingers into their mouth, would they?

Maybe this is what adoration does to people. He knew he wasn't obsessed- He didn't want to be kicked out _that badly-_ but the things he wanted to do were so disgusting to him he was beginning to think he was close to something like that.

He wanted hands running down his body, Shiva's deep voice in his ear, large hands grabbing at him so hard it would leave bruises- 

“Hah!- shit…” he didn't want to look at his hand, knowing that it would be covered in his release. Something about that made him guilty. He didn't like this one-sided nature. He didn't want to do these things behind Shiva's back, but he would much rather die than tell him about any of this.

_I would much rather die than do most things, but most especially that._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to kudo, comment, or HMU on my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ConfuzzledSheep) If you really want to yell at me/express your heated opinions!


	6. Moonlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The castle was buzzing with activity and Grimnir didn’t want to leave his room. 
> 
>  
> 
> _Shiva provided an outfit, that’s for sure._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are NSFW elements in this chapter but you all need to wait for the full on smut.

He smeared some of the sticky substance on his leg, forcing himself out of bed and into a light robe he had found in one of the drawers. Being built for four arms, it was absolutely Shiva's, but he really wasn't in the mood to care.

The halls were always warmer than he anticipated, but that was definitely most welcome, hands already feeling like icicles in the fall breeze.

He threw off the robe once he reached the bath, furiously scrubbing himself off in one of the smaller bathing pools.

The warm water did wonders for the bite, but didn't help much with the arousal situation. He tried to ignore it the best he could, until he heard someone open the door.

He turned, waist deep in water, peering over to the large doors-

And accidentally took a very good look at Shiva’s extremely bare chest.

It was just as great as he had always imagined, lavender colored scars lacing across the toned muscle… 

His eyes wandered to his arms, down to his hands, which were currently _taking his pants off._

His dick was _definitely_ interested in what was happening, but he didn’t want to seem like a creep- completely submerging himself with a louder splash than he would have liked.

Shiva’s deep voice echoed in the large hall. “Who’s there?”

A couple of gurgles from a small pool by the back caught his attention, and quickly he strode towards it, seemingly forgetting about his state of dress. 

He could see white hair rippling in the water, seemingly weightless. Kneeling at the edge of the pool he reached an arm in and yanked Grimnir back to the surface.

Shiva sighed and stood, letting him go. “Ah, Good. I wanted to insure it was really you.”

Grimnir coughed up some water, looking over at Shiva, only to end up a few inches away from his slit. Something about it made his mouth water.

Before he could stare for too long he splashed water onto his face, looking up at Shiva, who still hadn’t realized what the problem was. 

“I didn’t realize you would be out of bed this early.”

“I didn’t realize you were intending to bathe at this time.”

“You couldn’t have known. But now that you’re aware, I may as well bathe with you.”

He wanted to rip his dick off. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?-”

Shiva was already submerging himself, glancing over. “Yes. It’s much better to bathe with company than alone, in my opinion.”

Grimnir was hardly in a place to refuse, but this was going to kill him. His dick was _on fire,_ and likely dripping wet. Although the fact that it was under water wouldn’t make that obvious. 

He couldn’t keep his eyes to himself, memorizing every inch of Shiva’s back. The water around him was steaming, likely on the brink of _boiling,_ and the dumb, sexually frustrated part of Grimnir really, really wanted to move closer to him.

Turns out he didn’t even need to move an inch.

Shiva just kept. Sneaking towards him. Slowly, but surely, he moved from the other side of the pool all the way to Grimnir, close enough that his long hair brushed against his leg.

_Of all the things in the world that would make me even more aroused… I’m quite disgusting, aren’t I?_

The beautiful strands floated and moved in the water in the most beautiful ways. Like art in motion, the ink from a brush flooding into clear water. Grimnir wanted to reach out, let some of it flow through his fingers, but he was unworthy. There was no way he would be able to get away with such a thing. 

He was so distracted, the sound of Shiva’s voice almost sent him flying out of the water. 

“I will be hosting an event in the coming days. I want you to attend.”

Grimnir was flushed pink. “Uh, a what?”

“A party. I will provide proper attire. It is in 3 days time.” Shiva said, running fingers through some strands of his hair.

Grimnir knew his was barely in a position to refuse, and he wondered if he was there to be arm-candy or Laughing stock. Likely the latter, he was nowhere near attractive enough for the former. “Alright?”

Shiva turned to face him, the distraction of his beautiful chest once again tempting Grimnir’s gaze. “You seem unsure.”

“This is all a bit. Surprising.”

Dark hair stuck against his leg, curling in the water around his waist. He refused to sit up further for… obvious reasons. 

Striding through the pool, Shiva closed the distance between them, and Grimnir was certain the droplets on his forehead were no longer from the water, most of the sticky feeling coming from sweat.

A shiver tore through him, feeling the water move around his crotch. This was going to be the end of him- what would Shiva do if he found out?! Simply leave him where he stood? Grimnir could only imagine the face of pure disgust that Shiva would give him. His heart crumpled at the mere thought of it- but his crotch reached the exact opposite conclusion.

He recoiled as a hand reached out to touch his forehead. “Are you sick?” Shiva said, voice laced with more concern than Grimnir thought was necessary.

“I-I’m fine…”

Shiva didn't look convinced, taking another step towards him. “You're quite flushed, are you sure there is no problem?”

He couldn't find much of a way to respond, choking on any word that tried to escape his mouth. “Uh, um, yeah-”

Shiva took another step forward, Grimnir taking one back in turn. He was beginning to panic, trying to find the easiest escape route.

The bench with his clothes and towels was on the other side of the pool, making Shiva's towel closer…

“I, I’m good, now if you will excuse me-” he stammered out, before turning and speed walking to the nearest towel, pulling it around his waist and rushing out into the hall.

Shiva simply stood and watched him go, blinking slowly. “Oh. What a shame.”

***

The castle was buzzing with activity and Grimnir didn’t want to leave his room. 

_Shiva provided an outfit, that’s for sure._

The silver fabric mocked him. It was reminiscent of his armour, rubbing salt in the wound of its disappearance. He failed to see the purpose of the high neckline, the slight billow of the fabric. It looked more like a gown than a tunic.

Who was he to argue? Not like he was going to show up naked, and stealing some of Shiva’s clothes would bring more attention than he would like. People would probably get the wrong impression.

If they hadn’t already gotten it by their... _odd_ living situation.

Vasuki was curled up on a pillow, staring at him. 

He picked up the garment, quickly trying to figure out which side was the front and the other the back… With slight horror, he realized that the two billowing strips of fabric were not stitched together in the slightest, merely overlapping at his chest and back. He could easily slip his hand inside of the tunic… _Or Shiva could do such a seductive thing, although that it quite unlikely to happen…_

Kicking the image of Shiva feeling him up from his mind, he returned to attempting to decipher the damned thing. _I think the clasp goes on the… back?_

Vasuki was absolutely no help at all, Grimnir struggling for a good few minutes before  
finally slipping the damn thing on.

_This must have been built for a woman… There is no way in **hell** this was meant to be worn with no breasts._

The slit between the fabric was quite revealing, if he had to say so himself. The ‘skirt’ was barely more than some fabric dangling below his waist, only really giving the illusion of actual appropriate dress. It barely covered anything… Grimnir thanked the astrals for the invention of Black leggings…

It was more of an outfit for a concubine than anyone else. It seemed unlikely that Shiva had chosen such a thing. Grimnir never would have pinned him as the type of person who would enjoy such attire.

Grimnir looked over at Vasuki, straightening himself out. “Thank you for being no help whatsoever…” He grumbled, rubbing his arms. He was quite cold in it, cursing his lack of a jacket.

Vasuki seemed to mock him, slithering off of the bed and poking around the second closest in the room. (Why someone would need two closets greatly confused him, and the fact that one contained Shiva’s clothes and the other Grimnir’s confused him even moreso.)

“Hm. I take that back. Seems like you have quite the flair for the dramatic.”

***

“Mm. Thank you.” Shiva said, taking the report from the wheeled automaton. Everything was prepared, now it was a matter of time to wait for the guests to arrive.

_Vasuki will stay with Grimnir until I go to visit him. All I must do is change._

The embroidery work was quite impressive on his long coat, the silver and gold details so precise it was amazing that such a thing was produced by a machine.

Individually slipping each arm into the proper sleeve, he thought about what he would say to Grimnir. He did not wish to come off as patronizing, or worse, perverted in any way.

He dusted himself off in front of the full length mirror, ensuring he did not forget anything.

Deeming himself satisfactory, he quickly made his way down to Grimnir’s room. Something inside of his misbehaving heart greatly desired to see him in the attire he selected. Grimnir was the most beautiful in silver…

He vowed to greatly deny any and all suggestion of matching their clothes. Lying was not his favorite thing, but he would do it to protect his… _dignity_ was perhaps not the correct word, but he felt it was necessary to lie should Grimnir accuse him of such a thing.

The other reason to deny involvement with the selection of his clothing mostly pertained to the style, Shiva having only his impure thoughts and his runaway heart to blame.

Regardless, he would completely admit to being quite excited to see Grimnir. The sensual imagery his mind had generated was likely to be surpassed quickly, he had no doubt.

Straightening himself out before the doors to the wind primal’s room, he hesitantly knocked against the dark wood.

He expected to hear more shuffling and bumbling about, the smooth opening of the door almost surprising him.

Looking downwards, he almost fainted right then and there.

The silver tunic fit more perfectly than any dream could ever possibly assume, the fabrics accenting Grimnir’s beautiful body. The way if flowed down his torso, sheer material slowing off his lean physique and smooth curves left Shiva speechless. Black fabric clinging to his legs accentuated them with such unparalleled grace. The pristine white fur coat completing the ensemble. Grimnir looked like a perfect picture of elegance and seduction and Shiva now suddenly almost regretting making such choices, as there was no way he would be able to keep his sex drive under control the entire evening.

He had to quell the heat pooling in his groin, trying to keep himself in check.

“You look stunning.”

“Thank you, Lord Shiva.”

That unnecessary title grated upon his ears. At some later date and time, he would love to hear Grimnir call him such a thing, but that would be a time when the matter of superiority was nothing more than a fun toy for them to play with, a way to further enrich their relationship. As it stands now, Shiva hated the term, knowing how hard Grimnir was trying to make himself Shiva’s inferior. He hated that. They were absolute equals, and nothing could ever change that in his mind. Any play or jokes using such language would never shake that pillar of their relationship.

Grimnir closed the door behind him, Vasuki now wrapping up Shiva’s leg. “I assume this will be hosted in the grand hall?”

“Indeed.”

He couldn’t help but glance beside him as they walked, the prideful manner by which he carried himself seemed so vastly different to anything he had seen from him in recent weeks- no, perhaps centuries-

It was quite strange, but Shiva decided to temporarily ignore it for now. 

“You did a nice job with the decorations.” Grimnir commented, looking at the floating lanterns and simple black ribbons arching the high ceiling.

“Thank you.”

“Do you wish for me to greet guests with you, Lord Shiva?”

 _What do you take yourself for? You are not my servant or concubine or complicit bride- you are my equal, my whirlwind, my beloved-_ “No, you may do as you please, within reason.”

Grimnir chuckled, patting him on the arm before quickly making his way to the food table.

Not long after, there was a knock on the doors, Shiva moving to open them and properly greet his guests.

“Ah, Alexiel, Europa. You two look good.”

Europa quickly raised an eyebrow. “Only good? Shiva, where are your manners! Unless there is someone else who deserves such praise…”

Shiva kept his typical deadpan, Alexiel now also scrutinizing him. “You invited him, didn’t you?”

“It would be quite rude not to-”

“You just wanted to see him in formal attire, convincing yourself otherwise is stupid.” Europa stated plainly. “Now let us in, I do wish to sample the desserts.”

Moving away from the door, the two women slipped past him, Alexiel following a few steps behind her partner. Glancing over to the food table, Shiva was confused to find Grimnir missing, the man nowhere to be found in the room.

He was pulled away from his musing by another knock on the door.

“Ah, Colossus, Leviathan, good Evening.”

***

There was a _second_ garden in this damn castle. He should have suspected it, but it simply never crossed his mind. This one looked more traditional, mostly roses and other common flowers, large paths and winding mazes of hedges. It was peaceful, but still vastly different than the intimacy of the fountain garden.

The moon gazed down from between the clouds, the stars starting to grace the sky with their beauty.

It reminded him of Shiva’s jacket, the delicate metal threads against the black fabric mimicking the night sky.

A humming took him out of his thoughts, pulling his head away from the clouds and down to the solid ground where he stood.

“Yggdrasil, is that… you?”

***

Parties hosted by primal beasts were very similar to those hosted by mortals. There was food, music, alcohol, pleasantries, fights, arguments, inappropriate sexual behavior, inappropriate behavior as a whole…

Primal celebrations were just like the mortal ones, except it was very, very hard to injure another guest. Everything was kicked up a notch, there were few rumors that went unheard by everyone, secret love affairs were very common, but hardly secret, there was a high possibility that any single guest had slept with at least ¼ of all the other attendees. Put four random primals in a room together and there is a high chance at least two, if not all four, have had shared sexual interactions or interest at some point in time.

While this made parties much more… interesting, it also made them a pain when you were hosting them. Most primals hardly had the modesty humans did; if they could not sneak off to a random room to feel each other up, they would absolutely just go at it in the hallway. Shiva knew this from many terrible personal experiences. Although he couldn’t say he didn’t understand them, as his lust for Grimnir had, and would, easily surpass the rules of common decency if placed in such a situation.

It was rare for him to drink, but he felt like he might need to, in preparation. Preparation for what, he did not know. 

The wine was quite good, and he was pleased with his selection. He had gotten the opportunity to sample the food as well, and was again quite pleased with his choices. All of the guests had arrived, and as there was nothing to announce, he just needed to step back and clean up the damage in the morning. 

Europa and Alexiel were talking with Gilgamesh, but Shiva suspected that they would try to leave within the coming half hour, escaping to the halls in search of a room where they could…

Shiva shook his head. He didn’t need to think about it much. The moon shone through the windows, illuminating the hedge garden that lay below the great hall.

A glimmer of silver caught his eye, moonlight taking form.

Something swelled in his chest when he confirmed that it was Grimnir. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe he was just infatuated, but he was inebriated enough to not care at the current moment.

Grimnir was sitting on a stone bench, talking with Yggdrasil in a very childish manner. He was waving his hands about, probably being much too loud- But it was the old him. The Grimnir Shiva first fell in love with. The Grimnir that charged in headfirst, lead his allies to victory using cunningly ridiculous strategies and techniques. 

He looked so much… happier. His smile was wider, his laugh natural and musical and loud. He looked so happy to be down there with her, talking about who knows what.

Something gripped his heart in a tight fist. He didn’t like that Grimnir was happy with her. It seemed counterintuitive- he sound be overjoyed that Grimnir was happy- and he absolutely was, but something about who he was happy with bothered him.

“Jealousy is a very contagious thing.”

A voice next to him made him turn, and he looked over to Rosetta, who was also gazing out the window with him. “It can be quite scary sometimes.”

Shiva turned his attention back to Grimnir, who must have been doing some sort of dramatic reenactment, causing Yggdrasil to laugh at him. “Very few things scare me anymore.”

Rosetta’s keen eye bore into his very soul. “You should be afraid of it. I don’t know about you, but I want to tear Grimnir apart limb by limb. I should be the only one making her laugh like that.”

Shiva’s expression must have been very amusing to her, a few giggles escaping her throat. “I’m joking, joking… That is what I used to think, now I’m just happy she’s enjoying herself.”

He didn’t respond, continuing to look down upon the sparkling silver and white. Grimnir looked a bit like a fish that lived in one of the larger ponds. It was pure silver, always glistening and gleaming, even in the unavoidable algae that gathered within its home.

“Ah, they should be coming back up here soon.” Rosetta said, making eye contact with Yggdrasil and waving.

He glanced back to the garden, two eyes locking with his own. One green, and one pink.

That ignited some sort of fire within him. Grimnir’s neutral expression was practically an insult. Covering his true feelings like that- Shiva didn’t know how much longer he would be able to keep himself in check.

There was a crash, Shiva quickly swiveling and looking towards the noise.

Rosetta placed a hand on his shoulder. “You better take care of that. Don’t worry, everything will work out”

Her words were always cryptic, but these ones were definitely quite puzzling. Shiva could only hope they were more prophetic than anything.

 

***

Grimnir knew he had way too much to drink. That was a bit of a given. If he could destroy himself with it, he would use it.

What was surprising, however, was Shiva’s apparent intoxication. While he was not stumbling or misbehaving, there was a permanent blush upon his face, and he tended to wobble a bit when tasked with standing in one spot for any extended period of time. Grimnir had been watching him since Rosetta had beckoned Yggdrasil back to the grand hall, the pair quickly fluttering off to converse with someone. That left him to people watch and gradually kick back more and more glasses of wine until the evening was over. Or until Shiva had some business with him.

The conformation of Shiva’s tipsiness came when he decided to sneak behind Grimnir, wrapping an arm around his waist. He could smell the alcohol on him, along with the usual mix of sandalwood and smoke.

“Lord Shiva-”

“Drop the ‘Lord’ title. Come with me.”

Grimnir was thoroughly confused, slipping out of the grand hall behind him. All the other guests were much too distracted to notice the sudden absence of their host.

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere… private.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, Criticism, and Kudos are very much encouraged!
> 
> I have a [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ConfuzzledSheep?lang=en) where you can come and yell at me!


	7. Loving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the tenderness was a waste of energy, in Grimnir’s opinion. Yes, such actions made his traitorous heart flutter and swoon, but that was not what he deserved. Shiva should be using him as a mere outlet for sexual frustration, and then abandon him until Bahamut resets the world once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I headcanon Primals as having ‘dual purpose’ genitalia, but only one portion of said genitalia is ‘functional’ in any individual. (That is determined by hormones. General rule: If it has boobies, the uterus has complete functionality. If it doesn’t than the dick has complete functionality.) I don’t want to put any of the gross ‘futa’/like tags on there out of personal preference, so If you are not up for some weird biology, I’m sorry.

He was pressed against the wall before they even made it to his room.

He was right, all those weeks ago. Shiva’s kisses really did light him ablaze, burn into his skin, a heat that seeped so deep into him.

This was all he could ever selfishly hope for, alcohol soaked brain eating this up. Coat falling to he floor, his knees almost buckled. There were hands on his hips, one slipping between the fabric of his tunic and running along his torso with an undeserving appreciation.

“Shiva…”

Hot lips pulled away from his neck, breath brushing against his ear. “About time you viewed me as an equal…”

_Equal?! Since when was that ever true?_ “Please… can we make it to my room-“

_“Our_ room-”

Grimnir released a shaky sigh. Of course. It was either a complete accident, a scramble to produce a viable living space for him, or it was Shiva’s foolish way of stating his own desires-

It was the former. It had to be the former. There was no other way.

Shiva complied. In theory. Grimnir expected to just have him let go and they would both rush to the room, only for him to be pinned against the inside of the door.

The warmth was absolutely overwhelming as Shiva picked him up with much more care and tenderness than necessary, carrying him to the room much like a married couple. Or what Grimnir understood married couples to be.

There was no heat and aggression, being pressed against a wall or door or mirror or hell, even a window. Shiva set him down upon the bed, kicking off his shoes and crawling on top of him, lips finding their way back to his neck.

All the tenderness was a waste of energy, in Grimnir’s opinion. Yes, such actions made his traitorous heart flutter and swoon, but that was not what he deserved. Shiva should be using him as a mere outlet for sexual frustration, and then abandon him until Bahamut resets the world once again.

Warm hands ran down his hips, pulling down his leggings, another quickly began palming his already soaking crotch. 

“Hah- Shiva-”

Perhaps Shiva was going to respond to his empty plea in some way, but that question will forever be unanswered. Any words he could have responded with were traded out for the opportunity to lock lips with Grimnir.

Heat filled his mouth and almost dripped down his throat, joining and meeting with the residual warmth of all the touches.

The gross, wet noises between them fell on deaf ears, them being much too distracted with running their tongues together. Shiva’s skilled fingers worked at slowly coaxing Grimnir’s cock from it’s sheath, an action that was much more loving than necessary. All Shiva truly needed to do was prepare his own dick and shove himself inside of Grimnir. There didn’t need to be any foreplay, any sort of… _love_ involved.

This was simply torture, a way to punish himself for having such disgusting thoughts about the man nearly knuckle deep in his entrance, hand absolutely soaking with natural lubricant.

“Beautiful…”

Grimnir wanted that statement to be simply a trick of the mind. He misheard Shiva, that’s all there is too it. He whined, rocking his hips. He wanted this to be over. Such a thing should be treated as a gift, he should be eternally grateful for this opportunity, but he simply couldn’t live up to that. Shiva’s undivided, thorough attention scared him, there was no reason why he should be treated this well. If Shiva used him as a tool, it would be much easier to explain.

And would hurt much less in the long run.

A hot tongue dragged up his neck, streaks of saliva glistening on the slowly fading bruises. He could feel the heat radiating off of Shiva’s chest. His hands wouldn’t stop running up and down his torso, inadvertently manipulating his body.

Hands pulling away from him and the sound of rustling fabric caught his attention. At first he thought Shiva was bored of him and was preparing to leave, but what he got was frankly quite the opposite.

Something about this view was leagues better than that chance encounter in the baths. Perhaps it was the knowledge that Shiva was doing this for him, and him alone, compared to the random nature of the previous encounter.

The astrals had done such a beautiful job with him. Every curve was perfect and smooth, skin scarred and raised in some areas, but strikingly beautiful nonetheless.

‘Beautiful’ was a word best used on Shiva, not himself. 

He could feel his heart start to speed up, body eagerly awaiting more stimulation. He _ached_ with desire, and for once, he would embrace it. Take advantage of Shiva’s mistake in the making.

A hand brushed the inside of his thigh, tugging him down from his daydreams. He swore Shiva was radiating more heat than usual.

He could _feel_ how wet he was, the lubricant starting to drip down his thighs. This was all a very special kind of torture, heart perpetually on the brink of slowing down, the heat of Shiva’s body so fleeting. It could all disappear in an instant.

He wanted it to disappear when this was over.

Warm lips brushed past his neck again, fabric moving around his legs informing him of Shiva’s current state of undress. “You’re nervous.”

_No shit._ “I’ve, never…”

Shiva seemed to be almost blushing, a few hairs falling past his shoulders. “I have not either.”

Grimnir was honestly surprised. How could the primals be so dumb as to pass this up? Shiva was easily more of a god than most, if not all the others.

He was more of a god than Grimnir was, that’s for sure.

“Please tell me if anything hurts.”

Grimnir nodded, avoiding eye contact. A warm palm wrapped around his shaft, slowly pumping the unimpressive appendage. 

“You really, don’t-”

“I want to. I would hate to be a terrible first experience.”

_The fact that you’re actually seeing me naked has made this a terrible first experience. And yet…_ He was about to speak, head turning to face forward.

Shiva’s lips interrupted the unspoken sentence. He was more daring, tongue greedily rubbing against Grimnir’s, a hand traveling down his pale stomach to play with his entrance, another still slowly pumping his cock.

All of the noises he could have made were broken up by Shiva’s lips, the heat starting to move further, dipping past the back of his mouth as teasing his throat, all the earlier marks and kisses still radiating a similar warmth. 

Fingertips carefully pressed in, running along the soft muscle. Shiva’s mouth was doing a very good job of distracting him, but there was no way in hell he would be able to miss the feeling of something very large, nearly scalding hot, and incredibly wet rubbing against his thigh.

_That thing could probably rip me in half and I would absolutely let it._

He looked down as they pulled apart, trying to get a good view. The thing was absolutely huge. Grimnir had no damn idea how it was going to fit, in all honesty. 

If it tore him apart, so be it. At least he would feel good on the way out.

It would take quite a lot to kill him, they had proven that before, but if anyone (or thing) was capable it was probably Shiva.

His dicks, more specifically.

Grimnir thought he was seeing double due to the alcohol, but he was very, very wrong. In the best possible way. 

There were no mind tricks involved here. There were two, very real dicks emerging from Shiva's sheath, wet and large and smooth. 

Any hesitation that remained in his mind was pushed away. He could wallow later. Those things were going to stuff him and stretch him and eventually hurt him- but that wasn't a consideration right now, maybe he would be able to satisfy that urge at a later date.

He could afford to indulge himself, if only this once.

“Would you like me too…”

“I want it _now.”_

He could have added in a whimper, maybe a bit more neediness in his voice, but he didn't care. 

Shiva seemed much more afraid than he was willing to let show, carefully moving Grimnir into a better position, allowing one of his cocks to brush against his slit.

Grimnir actually whimpered then, his dick twitching quite dramatically. 

Shiva took his time, one hand manipulating the layer of skin, pushing it back with his thumb to reveal the hidden hole. It served no biological purpose, simply a leftover from his creation. It did act like a sex organ though, and could probably fit something that large with a bit of preparation, so it was good enough for him. 

The heat of the tip brushed the wet entrance, Grimnir whining and rolling his hips. “Stop teasing…”

Shiva took a shaky breath, starting to ease his cock inside. 

Grimnir thought he was taking much too long, unceremoniously shoving himself forward. He almost butted up against Shiva's pelvis, making it pretty far down.

The movement made him choke on moans and squirm on the sudden intrusion. Shiva wasn't faring much better, low, rumbling groans rolling out of his mouth.

The sounds only made Grimnir want to move down further, start rolling his hips as his walls burned from the heat and the stretch. He was absolutely under prepared but he was more than willing to ignore that. He wanted this so bad, overproduction of natural lubricants and probably some sort of muscle relaxant making him just _melt_ around him.

He swung his arms around Shiva's chest, claws grabbing at his shoulders. It was so, so much to take in…

Shiva kissed him, hands running along his lean body as he waited for a sign to keep moving.

Grimnir started to move, trying to fuck himself on the beastly cock that was probably rearranging his insides.

Hands on his hips stopped him, Shiva pulling his lips away. “You feel… So good….”

He didn't respond, whimpering as he got used to the feeling of Shiva moving in and out. The noise was quite disgusting, and he was very embarrassed that he was this turned on, but emotions and long repressed desire had started boiling over, the presented opportunity too much of a temptation. 

Shiva's back rippled as he moved, pulling Grimnir’s legs higher, both of them groaning as the angle changed. 

_God, he looks spent already… what if he's just shy? Oh, that's cute…_

Lifting his head, he licked a long stripe up Shiva's neck, starting to nibble out spots as he started to move his hips again, second cock rubbing the inside of his thigh. Grimnir was too distracted to notice the smooth lines and interesting colors of the appendages. They were red at the tips, getting darker in color as they got closer to his torso, eventually blending into his deep skin tone.

Shiva was practically _trembling,_ obviously trying to keep himself in check. Grimnir smiled. That was very, very cute. “You don't have to hold back… I'm quite tough you know…”

Shiva mumbled something along the lines of ‘I Love You’, sending Grimnir into a blushy panic before he drew himself out almost completely, only to slam back in.

He couldn't form words anymore, entire vocal process reduced to fragments of Shiva's name and high, whimpering moans. He couldn't describe how it felt, but the heat was overwhelming in the best possible way, Shiva showering him in undeserved affection. 

The impossible stretch had disappeared, his lower body reduced to a hot mess of pleasure and wetness. That just enabled Shiva to move faster and faster, the beads of sweat starting to grow.

Grimnir had long thought it impossible to push him that hard. He hardly broke a sweat when in battle.

A warm, loving hand wrapped itself around his trembling cock and he was a goner. With a whine, he came, arching his back and rocking his hips like some sort of whore. Not like his partner commented, continuing to fuck him as hard as before, taking advantage of the temporary spasm of muscles.

“Do that again…”

Shiva really was a virgin, wasn't he? Never in a million years would Grimnir have assumed that. He was easily the single most attractive thing the Astrals ever built, nearly every aspect of him perfect.

Grimnir tried to get himself to tighten again, but to no avail. One of his hands pulled itself away from Shiva’s back and started to stroke Shiva's second cock, which had been dripping and smearing a mix of lube and precum all over his stomach and leg. “I wanna feel both of them…”

Shiva didn't comment, apparently to focused on really kicking up the pace, making it his duty to pound Grimnir into the mattress. Something that was very, very OK with him.

The mattress creaked and groaned under their weight, and Grimnir wouldn’t be surprised if they ended up breaking the bed at any given point.

Alas, the first found was over sooner than they had both anticipated, Shiva groaning and sinking his teeth into his bruised shoulder, hips stuttering and trembling as an insanely strong heat flooded him.

Grimnir could die happy, feeling that heat flow through him. There was no way for him to really describe it, save for that it was the perfect culmination of everything he had ever really wanted to feel.

Both of them could barely speak, more focused on catching their breaths.

“I still mean what I said earlier…” He could feel how red his face was, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes for some unexplained reason.

“As you wish…” Shiva responded, pressing a kiss to his lips. It was messy and clumsy, but overflowing with a passion that Grimnir nearly felt guilty about.

Shiva pulled out with a particularly gross squelch, quickly shoving his second cock inside, trying to plug Grimnir back up. The mix of semen and fluid dripped from his whole in an insane volume, and he honestly wondered if male Primals could get pregnant. If that was a possibility he would need to honestly sort out his laundry list of issues with being a parent.

It burned. Not like he was going to tell Shiva that.

He had absolutely been through in his preparations, the first round should have warmed him up, but there was probably nothing in the world that would be able to completely prepare him for this feeling.

It was so, so hot, seeming to burn him from the inside, the stretch only amplifying the feeling. 

Two hands settled on his hips, the other pair bracing Shiva over him, sweat starting to drip from his body.

“Are you…. alright?”

Grimnir nodded, moving his hips to test the waters. The incredible shift in feeling pried a noise from his throat he didn’t wish to describe or replicate. “You can… move…”

Shiva obviously failed to understand the concept of refractory periods, hips almost immediately going back to work. Sweet nothings were whispered in Grimnir’s ear as he kicked up the pace.

He was way beyond coherent words, drool dripping from the corners of his mouth, barely able to even call Shiva's name as he was mercilessly fucked back on to the brink of orgasm. Shiva realized this, thrusting harder and faster, hand wrapping around Grimnir's abused and pulsing cock.

“Writhe for me.”

Grimnir obeyed, spilling all over Shiva's had once again, drinking in the wonderful noise he got as Shiva felt his dick get crushed for a few split moments, muscles eventually relaxing again. He could feel another rush of heat, and Grimnir was sure he was burning at a temperature far above any volcano he had ever encountered on the islands.

It felt a thousand times better than the bite. He could be addicted to this, easily. Fantasies of what it would feel like had been common throughout his sexual history, but actually knowing what it felt like… The sound of Shiva’s voice, how his hips moved, the sudden spike in temperature, seeming to fill his entire body as he finished inside of him…

Grimnir was hot, sticky, and stuffed, but he was fine with that. Exhaustion was starting to creep up on him, eyes growing heavy.

They didn’t stay heavy for long, Shiva suddenly thrusting back onto him, the disgusting squelch of his own cum dripping out of his partner somehow not deterring him in the slightest.

“Mmhn.. Shi…” his throat was hoarse and his mouth dry, all of the saliva in his body having ended up on his cheek or the pillow that also bore the marks of his teeth.

Shiva’s voice was so deep it could be mistaken for some sort of volcanic rumble. “Do you want.. To..”

He didn’t try to talk this time, shaking his head. Having that heat inside of him again… he would kill to experience it more often, but now was likely not the time.

“You feel wonderful… But… You should rest…” Shiva was lying, Grimnir was now completely awake. He was the one who was tired and wobbly. Grimnir could possibly go for another round, adrenaline and the insane heat keeping him awake. The feeling of cooling and hardening fluids between his legs made him squirm.

Shiva rolled off of him, hobbling out of bed. “We should… run you a bath…”

He tried to sit up, body crying out in protest. Shiva’s large arms wrapped around him, helping him put on a robe to defend their modesty.

The hallway was cold, Grimnir curling up in Shiva’s arms as he carried him to the baths.

***

Fragrant water poured down his back, washing away the suds.

“You really don’t need to do this…”

“Really, I insist.”

Grimnir grumbled. Here he thought Shiva would leave him alone after all the contact, but he absolutely refused to keep his hands off of Grimnir for more than a few minutes. 

Large, warm hands just kept running all over his body, washing his hair and scrubbing down his tired limbs. It felt wonderful, but the dark feelings in his chest was bubbling up again.

The pain was starting to warm up, reminding him of the burning feeling. He loved that, he wanted more of it. 

Shiva pulled him back by the hips, pulling him between his legs. Grimnir instinctually flushed, trying to focus anywhere else he possibly could. If he wasn’t so tired, he was sure his cock would have made its way out of its sheath again.

Shiva’s affection was effectively putting him to sleep, hands rubbing circles into his back and legs, soft kisses being peppered onto his soapy skin.

Sleep was growing ever closer as Shiva finished up with his hair, rinsing all of the suds out.

The room was dimming, his eyes no longer able to keep themselves open.

A voice, slightly morphed by his exhaustion, rumbled by his ear. He could feel the vibrations from here his back touched Shiva’s chest.

“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment, leave kudos, bookmark... Whatever it is y'all do!
> 
> I have a [Twitter!!!](https://twitter.com/ConfuzzledSheep) Where you can follow me or yell at me, whatever you prefer!


	8. Bookworm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grimnir nodded in response. He didn’t want to open his eyes, but he knew that Shiva was probably giving him a look disgustingly saturated in warmth, not the painful kind he sought out, but the loving kind, the warmth he did not deserve but craved anyway.

He could feel it in his stomach. The dread. The abnormal number of arms around him only confirmed his greatest fears, sealed his terror and regret. 

Grimnir didn’t want to be here. Well, that was a lie. This was a dream held by his heart for far, far too long. The way he had desired Shiva was finally fulfilled, the illusion of love satisfying his disgusting wishes. 

This encounter should not be repeated. Should it be so, it must be less loving, more efficient. He didn’t know how long he would be able to keep himself in check, the warm feelings of trust and affection already growing much too powerful within him. If he got his hopes up, they would most surely be crushed under the weight of Shiva’s indifference.

Warm air against his neck sent a shiver through him. He did not deserve this treatment. There was no reason for Shiva to act like he cared. 

“...Good morning….”

Shiva’s voice almost made him recoil, much louder in his ear than he anticipated. “Good morning…”

Soft lips graced the back of his neck. He didn’t know if he would be able to bring himself to act angry about all of this. 

“Are you feeling alright?”

“...Just a little sore.”

Shiva made a noise of understanding, a pair of hands moving to rub and massage Grimnir’s lower back. “When would you like to eat?”

Grimnir couldn’t give him a reply, groaning in pain and pleasure. Shiva massaging his back felt awesome, but his head had just started to kill him, his crotch not much better off. It wasn’t a burning pain, there was no heat or love. Just invisible knives stabbing into his flesh.

“I can request for food to be brought to us.”

Another grumble.

Shiva snapped his fingers, Vasuki slithering through the door. The snake seemed to immediately understand, turning back and heading to the kitchens.

Grimnir almost purred as he felt Shiva’s hands warm up, another hand moving to brush back his hair. He could feel Shiva’s soft gaze upon him, but he didn’t complain. As much as he would hate to admit it, he was loving the attention.

“You were beautiful last night.”

Grimnir huffed in response, still avoiding Shiva’s face, burying his head into the pillow.

A large, calloused hand gently gripped his hip, thumb rubbing circles into the small valley of flesh where leg meets torso.

He swallowed, muscles tensing instead of relaxing.

“Grimnir, are you stressed?”

This was one of the first times in a while Shiva had called him by his name. Most of the night he used pet names, although he hardly spoke at all to begin with.

Heat rose to his cheeks. He must have looked so foolish- there is no way he looked attractive last night… Even having Shiva need to clean him up… He wish he could have left like all the other guests.

_Did they… even leave?_

His heart started to pick up, fear clawing at his chest. Europa and Alexiel likely never left- They had spoken about how they tend to spend the night at Shiva’s house after these parties.

The creak of the door nearly sent him into a panic before he realized it was only an Automaton, bringing them breakfast. The loose shirt Shiva dressed him in almost fell off of his shoulder as he tried to adjust himself into a sitting position.

Shiva took the tray and set it down on the bed, sitting up as he did so. The soft scent of tea caused Grimnir to glance in his direction, stomach rumbling as he gazed at the steaming food.

He poured them tea, setting a delicate silver cup in front of Grimnir, a well used brass one in one of his hands. Vasuki slithered onto the bed, head resting in Shiva’s lap.

Grimnir reached for a small silver container on the large lacquer tray, opening it carefully. His eyes widened. “Uh, Shiva, is this-”

“Those are for Vasuki, I would never serve you rats.” Shiva was relieved Grimnir didn’t revert back to the whole ‘Lord Shiva’ thing. He looked on as Grimnir carefully grabbed a rat by the tail and heald it out for Vasuki, who happily gobbled it down.

He couldn’t keep his eyes away from the wind primal, it was simply impossible. Despite the events of the previous nights, all the sweat and heat and work, the late-night bath, he looked beautiful. Every star in the sky must be ashamed of themselves. The sunlight through the curtains made him softly glow, eyes vibrant, skin smooth and marked with bites. His hair moved in small waves of white as he dangled and bounced rats in front of Vasuki, smiling as the serpent snapped them up with careful precision. The white shirt falling off of his lean body a strangely domestic image.

Shiva smiled and drank his tea, ignoring the large amount of food before him in exchange for gazing languidly and lovingly at Grimnir.

Snapping the now empty box of rats closed, Grimnir reached for some flatbread, placing a massive scoop of some meat stewed in a deep red sauce. He had no idea what any of this food was called, he only really knew what he liked and what he didn’t. He crawled forwards to avoid staining the sheets, almost leaning across Shiva’s lap as he took a bite.

He regretted it the moment the food touched his tongue. It was as though Ifrit had shit in his mouth. Never in his tragically long life had his mouth experienced such a thing. He never felt like his mouth was in flames and deteriorating at the exact same time. This was so different from the comfortable heat of Shiva, this was pain- real pain, that the sex hadn’t numbed him too.

Tears were spilling from his eyes, face spectacularly red. He was salivating, tongue screaming in pain. 

Shiva grabbed the food from his hand, setting it down, bringing tea to his lips. The hot tea didn’t do much, lessening the sharp searing in the back of his mouth, but doing nothing to help the pain on his tongue.

Shiva was mumbling something about how that was his food, and how he didn’t realize it would be so _spicy_ , whatever the hell that ment. Grimnir knew what spices were, but he had never encountered them in such a high concentration before he became trapped here.

He sputtered, the heat simply refusing to die, even with the tea. Shiva seemed to realize this, and faster than Grimnir could even comprehend, There was another, very warm, and very wet thing in his mouth.

The gesture was thoroughly embarrassing, yet remarkably sweet at the same time. It didn’t help the whole burning mouth situation in the slightest, but the idea was sweet. 

Shiva eventually pulled away, a string of saliva connecting them. 

“You know that didn’t help at all, right?”

Shiva was panting, which was odd, but Grimnir didn’t care. “I suspected as much.”

“Then why??”

For a moment, Grimnir was sure that past his deep purple skin, Shiva was beet red. “I don’t know.”

_I just wanted to tell you I love you._

***

Nothing much changed after that night. 

Shiva left him to return to his duties every morning, Vasuki joining him. Grimnir was once again forced to wander through the palace at his leisure, which was quite entertaining for a while, but quickly grew quite boring.

Getting lost every few hours loses its luster quite quickly. 

At first, he took to napping, but the images of Shiva’s body (and even worse, the glimpses of his own) made sleeping nearly unbearable, and he often awoke covered in sweat and very, very aroused.

There were many halls that had yet to be explored, and progressively he began to sketch out a map of the place, marking landmarks and highlighting the flow of the murals.

The painted story of the Silver Archer was quite extensive, covering most of the outer walls of the hall. There was another series of murals depicting a great king and some… monkey? He was traveling with? Grimnir couldn’t glean a ton from the paintings, he was pretty sure it would make much more sense if he read the physical story, or if Shiva told it to him. He was certain Shiva would do a pretty good job of it too- he may be a bit monotonous, but the way his voice flowed-

_Stop that! You’re not some lovestruck princess for crying out loud!_

Standing in a distant hall, he continued the map, small charcoal pencil carefully marking the turns and crossroads of the halls. He had yet to explore much of the northern halls, that section of the map largely blank. 

Different mosaics on the floor, a new shade of orange painting the walls that were not covered in mystical scenes. A new courtyard, this one with a fountain.

A scroll, sitting on a stone bench caught his eye.

_There’s a library here._

In the matter of a few seconds, his boredom was all but gone. Simply the _possibility_ of a library excited him, and without much thought, he started scurrying down the hall, looking for any sort of doors or indication of such a place.

A cold breeze down a strange new hall grabbed his attention.

He turned, moving down the hall. The mosaics and paintings were more complex and concentrated here, all of the myths seeming to begin from this particular room. Depictions of the beginnings of the world stood opposite to a large pair of doors.

_Curious. I never noticed this before._

The doors opened with a mighty groan, Grimnir cautiously stepping inside. Magic oil lamps clicked to life, soft flames illuminating the room.

It was a massive library, and Grimnir felt tears coming to his eyes. He hadn’t gotten his hands on a book since he left his own home, back on the mortal islands.

Finally, he could discover the stories of the murals and the frescoes and alleviate the boredom that had plagued him for the past weeks. For once, he could think about something _other_ than Shiva.

He immediately scanned the bookshelves, finding a book with a title he could barely pronounce. _The.. Mahabata? Marahabata? Mahabara??? Doesn’t matter it looks fun._

There were a few loveseats and chairs scattered about, Grimnir finding himself a comfortable corner and settling down, preparing to spend a long, long while here.

***

The final mortal guest left, bowing before exiting the hall.

Vasuki slumped down, tired of having to act all regal and refined. They just wanted to eat a ton of rats and then sleep in the sun. 

Shiva too was also exhausted, although he hardly showed it on his face. The past week had drained him. His time with Grimnir has lessened tremendously, having to turn his attention back to his typical godly tasks. All the time spent away only made his desire for Grimnir fiercer.

With a sigh, Shiva stood up, holding out a lower arm for Vasuki to wrap themselves around.

_One week since the party… The next one will be in a month or so. Lady Michael has no tasks for me as of now, and there is nothing else I really must do… Perhaps a meeting with Europa and Alexiel is in order…._

Lost in thought, he wandered the halls, Vasuki falling asleep in his arms.

_Perplexing… I thought I left that door closed…_

Carefully opening the door a bit further, he peered into the library.

And promptly almost went into cardiac arrest.

Grimnir was beautiful, no surprise there, but the way the sun shined through the windows and onto his face and clothes as he sat at the windowsill with a book…

Shiva knew he was infatuated, but this was a completely new level.

He was hesitant to call any feeling ‘love’. In his mind, Love was a state achieved after all the glamour had worn off. A bond that could only be established once you had seen the worst of someone.

In his mind, they were creeping ever so close to that state as the days past. Perhaps this was a new realization, maybe it was his subconscious coming to light. Maybe they had passed that threshold long, long ago.

Leaning against the doorframe, watching Grimnir as he read, Shiva realized something.

He would stay with him until the ends of eternity. 

***

Grimnir must have fallen asleep while he was reading, the large, well worn book still in his hand. He felt warm again. Large arms had wrapped around him, and he could hear a heartbeat next to his ear.

Shiva was carrying him back to their room.

Grimnir shifted in his grip, trying to clue him in that he was awake.

“Are you hungry?”

Grimnir shook his head.

“It’s quite late, we should sleep.”

Grimnir nodded in response. He didn’t want to open his eyes, but he knew that Shiva was probably giving him a look disgustingly saturated in warmth, not the painful kind he sought out, but the loving kind, the warmth he did not deserve but craved anyway.

He heard doors open, some fabric rustling, before Shiva gently set him down. Sleeping clothes were tossed his way, and reluctantly, he opened his eyes. He snuck a glance at Shiva’s beautiful physique, smiling at the marks on his neck and scratches down his back.

Changing and tossing his old clothes onto the floor, he crawled under the covers. Shiva joined him not long after, wrapping him in his arms and placing a soft kiss on his forehead.

“Goodnight, my love.”

“....Goodnight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, Kudo, whatever it is y'all want to do!
> 
> I have a [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ConfuzzledSheep?lang=en) where you can come yell at me!! Thank you for reading!!!!!


	9. Reality

“I wish to see Grimnir.”

Shiva didn’t expect a visitor at this time, let alone another primal. But here he was, opening the door and inviting in Freyr himself. “I believe he is in the library, if you would like me to guide you.”

“That would be appreciated.”

They walked in silence, Freyr easily keeping pace with Shiva. He knew that Freyr was very important to Grimnir… perhaps he would be another person he could trust Grimnir with…

Shiva opened the door to the library, peering inside.

“What is it, Shiva?”

“You have a visitor.”

Grimnir looked confused, peering around Shiva to see who it was. “Freyr?!”

“It’s been a while Grimnir.”

Grimnir closed his book, setting it on the carved desk in front of him. “I thought you were in the Silverwind stretch?!”

“I finished my business there. Yggdrasil informed me of your whereabouts and I decided a visit would be in order.” He stated, Shiva stepping out of the way. “I would greatly enjoy catching up with you.”

His eyes were sparkling as he grabbed Freyr’s arm. “Here, follow me.”

The pair quickly walked down the hall, Grimnir clinging to Freyr’s side. 

Something dark bubbled up in Shiva’s chest. He didn’t like that image, not one bit. Freyr was like a brother to Grimnir, and he knew that well. It was the mystery of their true relationship that irked him.

***

“Do you know when he will let you go?”

Grimnir’s stomach was full of rocks. There was a disgusting taste in his throat. There was a whole world out there, he knew that. There was a sky, a people, a planet that he needed to protect. That was his _job_ , his sacred duty.

And here he was. Sleeping with Shiva. Blissfully ignoring that divine task.

“I do not. I hardly know why I am being held here.” _Ah, I do hope he doesn’t see through this lie…_

Freyr apparently did not, expression shifting. “Shiva himself simply decided to bring you to his palace and lock you up? Does he intend to force your hand in marriage or something?”

Grimnir flushed, more ugly feelings starting to bubble up. He had lead his brother out to the fountain courtyard, and the two of them were meandering through the beds of flowers. “I, I do hope not.”

 

“He is a very unreadable man, who knows what his true intentions are.”

“I highly doubt he would be interested… Besides, we would be quite the disaster as a couple, do you not think so? He would have much better chances with practically any other primal.”

Passing by a group of large ferns, Freyr’s face harbored deep doubts. “... Then if not marriage, why?”

“I wish I could tell you.”

“Would Shiva tell me?”

Grimnir swallowed. “I, I don’t believe so…” it wasn’t cold outside, by any means, but goosebumps were raising up on his arms.

“Lord Raphael is worried about you.”

 _Oh, so he’s worried huh? Really? Shiva just decided to mop up the mess of his most hated child and he **worries** about them?! Don’t make me laugh!_ “...Is he now?”

Freyr turned to look at him, the pair nearing the Fountain, and the gate. “He is.”

“Quite surprising, really. Am I ruining his public image?”

“No, I did not-”

“ _‘Lying is quite unbecoming!~’_ ”

Grimnir could _see_ Freyr practically seething with rage, the use of one of Raphael’s common phrases striking quite the nerve with him. A golden boar was resting in front of the gates. It arose and shook itself off when it saw its master approaching. Freyr pat the beast’s side, turning back to Grimnir.

“Regardless, your absence reflects badly upon us. I would work towards release if I was you. Please tell me if you need Raphael or myself to come and negotiate the terms of your release.”

“...Give me a month. Then you can come and work it out with Shiva.”

Freyr raised an eyebrow, seemingly sceptical. His boar snorted, pawing the cobblestones. “Alright. Two weeks.”

With a swift motion, he mounted his steed and flew into the sky, easily bypassing the barrier, senteries unreacting.

Grimnir swallowed. He had a plan, he just needed to make sure it worked.

***

Shiva found him in the library that night, quickly realizing how much he had missed Grimnir’s presence at dinner.

“I have brought you food.”

“Did you know there’s an entire world out there?”

Shiva blinked, setting down the plate on the desk. Grimnir was nose deep in a book, seemingly ignorant of everything around him.

“I did, in fact, know that.”

“Have you seen it?”

 _What kind of conversation is this?_ “I have, from the sky.”

“So you’ve never experienced it?”

He shook his head.

Grimnir snapped the book shut, placing it on the desk. “I think the mortals are onto something. With their short lives and fleeting experiences.”

“And what would that be?”

“In order to value life, you must live in respect to death.”

Shiva stared as Grimnir stood up, ignoring his meal. “You must eat, you do know that.”

“I am not hungry. I will be heading to bed now, feel free to join me when you would like.”

Under any other circumstances, he would have pressed harder, tried to get him to eat. But for some reason, he didn’t. Something inside him made him overlook the idea.

The dishes went in the sink, Shiva allowing Vasuki to eat their fill before he returned to his office.

The papers glared at him, documents and plans and strategies. Some of them from before Grimnir even arrived.

_Why did Freyr visit? What did he hope to achieve? Why is Grimnir acting in such a way? Has his attempts to help him been useless? Will he simply return to his self destructive behaviour? And where does that put me?_

_Am I the solution, or the problem?_

The night grew long, paperwork hardly budging as he bore into the hidden patterns of the wood grain. The moon was thin, sky clear.

Another reminder of him.

Maybe he did not belong here. Maybe it was just as he suspected long before he ever considered this. It’s the confinement that made Grimnir act in such a way. Trapped in an immortal body, then caged by his allies, and finally imprisoned by the one who loved him the most…

It sent a shiver through him.

Carefully opening the door, he found Grimnir fast asleep in their bed. It was surprising to even find him there, as opposed to the gardens like before.

Shiva attempted to change quietly, slipping under the covers and nestling in beside him. Grimnir hardly even stirred.

He wasn’t there when Shiva woke up.

It was... disappointing. If he had to put words on it. Sleeping alone was such a disappointing thing when one had gotten a taste of sleeping with another.

He could not remember how long it had been since a dark grip had seized his heart like this. Likely centuries. 

Going about his normal routine, he kept an eye out for Grimnir. He likely slipped away to some secluded corner of the palace, book in hand. Vasuki likely joining him, attempting to sneak a few treats from him-

Ice shot through his body. He needed to find Vasuki. Or Grimnir. He couldn’t have a 3rd bite, he simply couldn’t allow it.

Shrugging on some clothes, he stormed the halls, bare feet against the floors. His unpinned hair ornaments jingled until he got around to fixing them, up and down halls, past windows and small gardens. 

Vasuki was sleeping on the stone bench in the library garden. Shiva scooped them up, demanding to know where Grimnir was.

The snake didn’t have a clue.

Shiva reduced the urgency of his search, making a few more laps before heading to his office.

The heavy doors swung open, sunlight streaming through the windows, illuminating the shelves of books and massive maps that plastered the walls and covered the long war table. 

“I don’t appreciate feet on my chair.”

“Ah, Good morning Lord Shiva.”

“Drop the Lord thing.”

“With all due respect sir, no.”

Even while he was sitting cross-legged in Shiva’s chair, thumbing through a book in the sunlight, silver tunic and black pants-certainly stolen from Shiva’s wardrobe- adorning his body, he looked breathtaking. His hair was messy, one finger playing with a stray strand as he read.

“Any particular reason why you chose my desk?”

“I wanted a change of pace.”

“You could always go to the gardens.”

“Yes, But then you would never check on me, and I would get so engrossed in the story I would certainly starve to death.”

Shiva raised an eyebrow. At this rate he was going to starve himself with or without Shiva’s intervention. “Well, I have not forgotten about you here. Dine with me.”

“Is that an order or a request.”

“An order.”

Grimnir sighed dramatically, his book making a thud as it closed and was the tossed onto the desk. Reluctantly, he followed behind Shiva to the small dining room.

Shiva was careful to not allow Grimnir any access to the spicy dishes he would eat. He didn’t want him to use it as a new form of self-harm.

The wind primal refused to leave his side, which was a massive change from the previous night. Shiva couldn’t possibly get any work done while Grimnir was sitting in his lap, legs sprawling over the armrests, one of Shiva’s strong arms keeping his torso close to Shiva’s chest.

“What book are you reading?”

“The… Marahabata???”

Shiva was confused for a moment. “Oh, the Mahabharata?”

“Yes, That one.”

“Do you enjoy it?”

Grimnir blinked at him. “I wouldn’t be reading it if I didn’t.”

“Will you read it to me?”

“Why?”

He didn’t look up from his paperwork. “I wish to hear your voice.”

“I fail to see why you would enjoy such a horrendous sound-“ Shiva cut him off, a free hand gripping his thigh. That shut him up quite quickly.

Hesitantly, he began to speak, weaving a vast tale of gods and men, the failings of multiple curses, and the fragility of love.

Shiva hung on to every word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to kudo, comment, or HMU on my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ConfuzzledSheep) If you really want to yell at me/express your heated opinions!


	10. Heartbreak

This was going to be harder than he thought.

Leave it to Shiva. Endlessly patient, forever devoted, refusing to ignore him even though his behavior has been extremely poor and childish. 

Grimnir had clung to him like a cat, getting in his way, trying to prevent him from getting anything done; but instead of getting angry, he was simply amused- asking Grimnir to read for him or assist him while he worked. He praised Grimnir and spoiled him, called him pet names and showered him in small gestures of affection.

He didn’t hate it, obviously, but he was certainly bothered by it. Such affection was wasted on him, and this seemingly endless love was making him extremely uncomfortable. Morning kisses had lost their burn, only lingering flames of adoration. Shiva kept him so, so close, not wanting to let him go, embracing Grimnirs attempts to become an annoyance, refusing to shove him away.

It would boil over, at night. The tears would start rolling and drip into the pillows and he would feel soft lips on his cheeks and Shiva would whisper comforting things to him, thinking he was still dreaming. He would awake in warm arms and Shiva wouldn’t leave his side, passing him the same silver teacup every day. The color and aroma of the tea was always different. 

In the evenings they may drink together, Shiva running his hands through his white hair in the baths or their bed. Quick meetings of lips- faster than the snap of one's fingers- evolved into longer affairs, tongues and lips meeting and conversing, hands on his hips, back, or cupping his cheek, pushing back his hair.

They never went further though. The touches never went under clothing, hands staying in conservative places.

Their weeks were spent in a comfortable routine, every outreach from Shiva shoving Grimnir deeper into the recesses of his mind, butting him up against desires he wanted to keep buried. The way his heart swelled when Shiva pulled him into his lap or asked to hear his voice. The heat that rose in his cheeks when hands massaged his thighs or lips met his neck. He loved it, the heat slowly becoming familiar, becoming a part of him, yet still sending sparks through him every time Shiva touched him.

This wasn’t compelling him to leave at all. 

That was definitely a problem.

He was becoming almost desperate. He wanted to leave- there was a world out there he was ignoring- but Shiva kept roping him back in, almost making him forget about the fact that he was imprisoned there.

The plan had been marked out on a slip of paper he kept between the 100th and 101st Pages of the Mahabharata. He tracked the days. He had two days left before Raphael got involved and Grimnir would thus throw himself out, passing through the forcefield, hopefully disintegrating his body as he did so.

Shiva had actually left for once, taking Vasuki with him to meet with Lord Michael. Leaving Grimnir to snoop to his heart's content.

Collecting clues from Vasuki was hard, but with enough snacks the serpent was pretty loose-lipped as to the whereabouts of Grimnir’s old armour. In a back corner of the armory. It was much dustier and cluttered than Grimnir expected, but it seemed all the notable weapons were on display in the war rooms and more grand halls. 

Putting magical weapons within arms reach of primals who would likely be intoxicated was a very bad idea, but it seemed to have worked out all right for Shiva. _Seemed to_ being the key part there.

He missed his armour greatly. He checked for holes, dusting it all off with a rag he found, placing it in a chest he found, placing it between some plants in a garden bed.

He would retrieve them within a day or so. 

And thus, he waited. There was a strategy involved, he wasn’t that dumb, and the added bonus of hopefully hurting himself- feeling the rage of the unquelled fire, no love or gentleness to dull the heat- only made the plan more enticing.

Now he only needed to make himself more enticing.

***

Shiva sighed as he opened one of the grand doors, the thud of him closing it echoing through the hall.

His meeting had been standard, no mention of the Grimnir situation in the slightest- that was a lie. There was mention, a great deal of it, in fact, but nothing he would ever dream to tell Grimnir. 

_He still hasn’t dropped the ‘Lord Shiva’ thing…_

Vasuki was fast asleep, Shiva carrying them to their small room, draping the snake over some tree branches in the vast assortment of plants. Shiva designed the room with care, many, many years ago. He then continued on to the room he shared with Grimnir, but found himself interrupted in the hall.

“Good evening. I was wondering when you would be home~”

Grimnir looked like art. Caro would view him and weep, as there is no way such a beautiful form could ever possibly be replicated. Shiva remembers selecting the gown as a sort of dream, picking it more because it suited his fancy as opposed to the actual possibility of Grimnir wearing it and enjoying it. It was simply a self-indulgence he would never wish to be accused of, but seeing Grimnir actually in such an outfit made him much more respectful of his good taste in guilty pleasures.

Dark green fabric shining and see-through in the stark moonlight, silhouetting the absolute grace of Grimnir’s lean form. It was more of a mess of sheer fabric than an actual dress, but Shiva was absolutely not going to complain about it in the slightest. Not when the back was so low and the slit up the side ran so criminally high, nearly past the top of his hip.

He was glad he wasn’t gripping the wall, fearing for the structural damage that would occur when his hand smashed through the stucco and brick, tension running through his body.

“You didn’t expect this sort of welcome, did you?”

Grimnir’s soft voice was so new to him and sounded so perfect- like it was a part of the soft breeze flowing through the hall.

“I did not.”

His laugh was sweet and airy, striding down the hall to meet him, lean hands gently resting against his chest. “I missed you…”

Shiva didn’t know what Grimnir was really referencing there, the sex, or his day visit to Michael’s home. “In what manner.”

“Does it matter?”

“I think it does.”

Grimnir sighed, an arm wrapping around Shiva’s waist. “I miss how you feel… I don’t remember much from the night of the party, you know.”

“You remember. We’re primals, Grimnir.”

“Well, that’s quite rude to say.” Grimnir puffed, pressing himself against Shiva’s chest. He was acting normal. Too normal. He was acting like none of the bites ever happened, like the two of them were much more familiar than they actually were- like they were true lovers. “Are you not supposed to love me? I have nary met a relationship in my days where one party so blatantly calls the other a Liar.”

“I did not mean such a thing-” _I did, your information is obviously false._

He shifted, making a show of rubbing his hips against Shiva’s as he tried to press even closer to him. “You can make it up to me then~”

Shiva wanted this. His heart was racing, mind saturated in the erotic imagery of not only their first night together, but every day after that. The way Grimnir moved even now was so captivating… 

He grabbed the sides of Grimnir’s head and slammed their lips together. Grimnir was surprised at first, tensing and then relaxing, allowing their kiss to deepen. Saliva started to drip down the corner of his mouth, gripping onto Shiva like his life depended upon it.

That was such a worthless phrase when one cannot die.

Pulling apart, Shiva saw the moon reflected in Grimnir’s eyes, cheeks flushed, heart beating, breath short. Moving away, a smaller, daintier hand wrapped around his own, dragging him down the hall.

Door slamming shut, Shiva found himself nearly shoved against the wood as Grimnir removed his armour with more skill then he himself could even hope to attain. Metal fell to the floor, jointed pieces clattering and jingling. 

A tongue sweeped up his neck, breath by his ear. “I… prepared…”

Shiva’s hand was roaming downwards already, slipping in the criminally high slit of the skirt. His fingers only touched skin, causing his heart to race faster than he could have ever once considered possible. 

Suddenly finding the will to move more than just his hand, he swept Grimnir up in his arms, quickly moving towards the bed, gently placing him on the sheets.

With fistfuls of his long, dark hair, Grimnir yanked Shiva down on top of him, connecting their lips once again. Shiva only pulled them apart to tell Grimnir to loosen his grip, the hands soon moving to his chest as Shiva worked on the fine fabric of his gown, resisting the urge to simply rip it apart and get on with it.

The deep green fabric was soon a pile on the floor, Grimnir laid bare for him. 

“Did you like it? The dress?”

“Very much so.”

Grimnir looked relieved, expression softening, looking up at Shiva lovingly.

The next moment, it was Shiva who was looking up.

“I wanna take the lead, ok?”

Shiva didn’t see any need to argue, the white skin of Grimnir’s torso awash with moonlight, slit slick against his thigh, the pink of his cock starting to slip from it’s sheath. “...Do as you wish.”

Grimnir was quite enthusiastic, yanking down Shiva’s pants as soon as possible, tossing them to the side. He shifted forward, grinding down into his crotch, body leaning forward, the hand not gripping Shiva’s hip running through his hair, eyes keenly watching the movements of every strand as they passed between his fingers.

Two of Shiva’s hands came to rest on the sharp but elegant angles of Grimnir’s hips, the top pair crossed above his head.

Grimnir had a list of absolutely putrid thoughts run through his head at the sight of Shiva’s arms and… the way they connected to his chest- but that was not something he was were to dwell on.

He was here to get himself kicked out.

Or distract Shiva enough for a proper escape.

He could feel the twin members pressing against his slit, the appendages much larger than his own, practically engulfing his own puny cock.

A shiver ran through him, hands abandoning Shiva’s hair, each taking a cock in hand and slowly stroking both of them, delighting in the residual slick feeling of the natural lubricant flowing from the tip.

He perked up, hearing Shiva shakily whispering something between pleasured groans and pants.

“...I… love you-hh…”

Grimnir’s face was probably unbelievably pink, his heart fluttering involuntarily. He practically had to smack himself to snap out of it. He removed a hand from one of Shiva’s cocks, managing to wrap a hand around both. Adjusting himself, he slowly sank down, guiding them closer and closer-

The pain and pleasure tore through him, a grin plastering his face as he tried to keep his hips from twitching too far, muscle straining around the girth.

Shiva watched on in amazement as Grimnir sat himself all the way down, hardly daring to move once he had completely taken both cocks to the base.

It felt like he was being split in half in the most gruesome and pleasurable way, and he had once been torn apart limb from limb by the hands of a foe. This was perhaps the greatest injury he had suffered in his life, beating out the bites by massive margins.

He felt like his heart had been pushed into his throat, and when he was finally able to speak, he did so. 

“I love you… too-mngh!” He moved forward, ever so slightly, the pain and fire once again gripping him.

Shiva was sure Grimnir’s stomach was distorted in some way, the sheer size of both the cocks he so eagerly stretched around simply too massive to leave no trace.

Heart returning to his throat, chest in a vice grip; he started moving, flooding his body with the feeling of being so full and stretched and wrecked. The fire engulfed him so easily, with no effort on his part. He was burning, thighs screaming in pain at the angle, crotch much worse off. He was quite sure he was bleeding, skin and muscle not elastic enough to handle Shiva.

That would merely add to the show. It stung in the most delightful way as he started to move, moans and other noises of purely primal origin filling the room. 

Despite the pleasure, the lubrication of both blood and natural slick, the ease in Grimnir’s hips, the way he trembled, the sweat on his skin and the tears of overstimulation- Shiva was suspicious.

“Grimnir… _hah_ … are you… Alright?”

He nodded in response, attempting to form words, but finding it much beyond his current capabilities. 

That didn’t quell Shiva’s suspicions though, hands on his hips stopping him from moving- a disgustingly needy, desperate whine escaping his throat. 

“Grimnir, something is wrong.”

“I- I’m fine Shiva.” his breathing was all sorts of fucked up, body trembling unnaturally. He squeaked as Shiva’s grip on his hips tightened.

“You- you’re _hurt-”_

Grimnir looked like he had seen something beyond their realm, face pale, goosebumps covering his skin. He looked… _afraid._ So, so afraid.

Shiva could hardly comprehend this, grip involuntarily tightening around his pale hips. He was _angry._ He never would have thought he could be so furious at Grimnir- he thought the love would have drowned it.

“I’m sorry-” Grimnir was _crying_ , curling up on himself, as if expecting a strike from Shiva.

There was a snap, a cry of pain, Grimnir doubling over. Dark, deep bruised appeared at his hips as Shiva pulled him off, setting him on the bed with a gentleness that would have comforted Grimnir in any other situation.

In an instant, Shiva had grabbed his discarded pants and left the room, the door slamming behind him.

_This is it, I’m going to die here. It didn’t work, I couldn’t distract him, I wasn’t believable enough- FUCK that hurts…………_

He should be delighted by the idea that Shiva was hurting him- he was sure Shiva had snapped some portion of his pelvis- but he just. Couldn’t. Something inside of him just wouldn’t allow it. He couldn’t feel delighted about this, not in the slightest.

_Is this what heartbreak is?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to kudo, comment, or HMU on my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ConfuzzledSheep) If you really want to yell at me/express your heated opinions!


	11. Fallen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for this arc!!!!!!!!!! I will likely be writing a continuation of this series, so stay tuned for that in the near future!

It was so cold when he woke up.

His hips were black, the pain shooting through him. His head was pounding, the only defense he had against the cold the piles of silks and furs around him.

He didn’t want to leave.

The cold bit at his feet as he walked to the small washroom, clutching a pile of blankets around him. He should have just hurried off to bed, but he wished to hopefully try to bathe in relative peace.

The main door was locked.

He was trapped. In this room.

Hobbling back to the bed, he was careful to not collapse onto his extremely bruised hips.

Blankets were pulled back around him, engulfing him in warmth.

Maybe now, he could sleep.

***

Shiva got a lot more work done when he was alone. Papers long ignored and forgotten quickly stacking up, completed with extreme efficiency.

Europa and Alexiel would arrive later that day, Shiva wishing that he could keep himself distracted until they arrived. The thoughts of Grimnir haunted him. The fear in his eyes shook him- but it wasn’t really about that. It was the was he used him.

Shiva was a _risk_ now. He was much more of a danger to Grimnir than Vasuki was- he couldn’t handle it. He couldn’t do it. He didn’t want to put Grimnir in danger, he didn’t _want_ to hurt him.

But that’s what happened anyway. He couldn’t stop Grimnir’s own self destruction- in trying to help he only made himself a tool for him, a new, novel form of pain. He pushed Grimnir forward, almost encouraged his behaviour-

But leaving him alone was a terrible idea as well. Bahamut knows what he would do next, continue to destroy himself for reasons Shiva could barely comprehend? Stew in fury for when Shiva eventually reunited with him?

Vasuki’s head was resting against the desk, the snake tired. They were very unhappy with not being able to visit Grimnir, which surprised him. How could they be so forgiving? Shiva thought the serpent would be much more wary, more fearful. 

“Would you like to see him?”

He felt Vasuki move, head smoothly raising up so face him. Their eyes were glittering. A sigh escaped his chest.

“You can see him when I send the Medical Automaton.”

Vasuki immediately pouted. They _hated_ the glass container in the machines chest, but they didn’t have much have a choice.

“I simply cannot risk it, not when he’s acting this way.”

Reluctantly, the snake complied.

Shiva didn’t want to watch as Vasuki slithered away.

***

Something was wrapped around him.

Grimnir didn’t get his hopes up. Every time he thought it was Shiva, it ended up being Vasuki.

This time was no exception.

Eyes glossy with sleep, he looked at the milky scales winding around him. His throat was hoarse from crying, eyes aching and skin raw. “Are you here to finish the job?”

Vasuki didn’t answer. Their tail was wrapped around a bottle on the nightstand.

“Full elixir, huh?”

Still no answer. 

Grimnir looked down towards his chest. He couldn’t find the snake’s head for the life of him-

There was something over his heart.

Vasuki refused to move as Grimnir shifted, keeping their body wrapped around his chest, trying to anchor him to the bed, keep him together-

Something about it made Grimnir want to cry again. There is no reason a snake should be acting this way. A snake shouldn’t care whether he lives or dies- he doubted Raphael cared, or any of the other wind primals or archangels or astrals or even Alexiel and Europa and-

He couldn’t complete that thought. He didn’t want to admit the truth. 

Vasuki held him tight as he slowly maneuvered into a sitting position, grabbing the elixir and uncapping it.

“You need to shift so I can treat the bruises…”

The serpent loosened their grip around his hips, and he carefully pushed up his shirt, looking down at the black marks.

His skin stung as he dropped the elixir on his bruises. If he didn’t know any better, he would have thought the salve was honey.

Vasuki stayed still as Grimnir waited for the pain to fade. The marks started to disappear, being washed away slowly, like spilled ink in the rain.

“Thank you.”

The snake was silent, grip slowly tightening again.

Vasuki refused to move their head, nuzzling into his shirt. 

“I don’t know if you can stay here-“

The door slammed open, Vasuki holding him tighter.

Shiva didn’t speak a word, closing the gap between him and the bed in seconds. 

Vasuki cowered, trying to bury themselves into Grimnir’s clothes, but it was useless. Shiva’s hands grabbed at the scales, and the serpent relented, releasing Grimnir with great sadness.

Grimnir didn’t want to speak as Shiva violently ripped Vasuki away from him, turning and marching out the door, pinning the snake’s mouth shut.

The tears started falling and he couldn’t stop them. Not now. Not when he was all alone, once again.

***

“You did WHAT?!”

Shiva pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. Alexiel was looking at him in shock, Europa in stern disappointment.

“Have you never heard the human rule ‘don’t stick your penis in crazy’?” Europa grumbled, furiously gripping her tea.

“I have not.”

“Well now you have. And now I can yell at you for breaking such a rule.”

He was going to get tired of this very quickly, he could just tell. “Why is my relationship with Grimnir an issue?”

Europa raised an eyebrow. “Are you kidding me?”

He put his head in his hands. Everything those two said made no sense to him. Why would he want to cast Grimnir down? The only issue was his extreme adaptability with weapons, other than that there had been no problems.

“Shiva, you might not want to see it, but he was _using you._ That should be _unacceptable_ from the get-go, but not only that, he’s a _prisoner_ in your house! That’s not the ideal situation, not at all!” Shiva had never seen Europa get this passionate, and he had seen her rip enemies heads off after Alexiel got a minor wound.

“You two feed off of eachother! You’re doing nothing but harm by keeping him here and he’s doing nothing but using you to satisfy his whims!”

_No, there was love there, there must have been. Grimnir fails to realize the extent of my affection, and pushes me away, despite all of my efforts- but that night at the party- was what not love? Did Grimnir use me then? When he was moving in such a way, face flushed and movements sloppy and unrefined, no experience between us to speak of?!_ “Yes, but there is certainly a shared affection-”

“TO HELL WITH THAT SHIT!” The spike in tone made even Shiva recoil, Alexiel extremely frightened.

“ALL YOU DO IS SHOWER HIM IN LOVE AND AFFECTION, TRYING TO PULL HIM BACK UP FROM WHERE HE FELL. HE FELL FOR A _REASON_ SHIVA! CODDLING HIM WON’T HELP! YOU SHOULD NOT BE CLEANING UP AFTER HIS MESSES, BECAUSE HE REFUSES TO LEARN FROM HIS MISTAKES AND WILL ONLY LEAD YOU TO RUIN AT THIS RATE!”

He just sat and took it. Europa had every right to do this. She had been worried for a very, very long time, he knew that. But it didn’t sting any less.

“So kick him out. He loves humans, does he not?! Strip him of his title and send him down to the islands until he gets himself together and can actually treat you like a proper being!”

Shiva chewed his lip. He _couldn’t abandon Grimnir. He just couldn’t._ “You know I simply can’t do that-“

The door to the study slammed open, a panting and disheveled Freyr at the door.

“Where is he.”

***

All the air had been sucked from his lungs, rendering him choking on his own saliva and tears. The pain was cold, spreading over him like frost on a corpse. 

It was all his fault.

He used Shiva’s body as a punishment, praying the action would get him kicked out, but now he was almost certain he would never leave.

Silk was strong, he knew that, the sheets able to withstand his claws and Shiva’s grip. It could easily support his weight, not tear when he was being held by his neck. The ceilings, however, were far too low for such a method of death to work. It was a mortal method. Not fit for gods in any way.

Not that Grimnir was much of a god now. Maybe he never was one.

He was tasked with protecting the skies, standing guard at the very origin of the vast shell of wind. He would defend it with all his might, it would fall apart without him.

Or so he thought. 

But the sky still remained. It had not fallen to the islands, destroying all in their path, like he was told.

And yet. He didn’t want to return to the solitude and eternal boredom. Maybe later- if he even made it to ‘Later’, whatever that truly was. 

_There’s a whole world below me. A place where people live. What they truly do, I don’t know-_

_I could find out._

Such a thought was dangerous- spurring him on like that, just the concept making him ignore the feeling of freshly healed bones and cold floors.

He threw his clothes on, frantically trying to open the door. It was still locked.

The sunlight filtering through the window drew his attention, the hazy image of the garden much, much too tempting-

His arm moved on its own, grabbing the book on the nightstand, hurling it at the window.

The pane shattered with a very satisfying sound.

Body lowering, pushing off with his right foot, he soared into the cobblestones, jumping far over the scattered glass.

The wind guided him, hands wrestling the leather bag of his armour from the lacquer chest, then charging for his spear, leaning on the wall near the gates.

Metal touched his palm and he felt it- wind stirring within him, filling him and pushing him even further. His forearms started glowing, shining through the white sleeves of his shirt as he raised his arm, charging at the gates.

There was a heat, quickly extinguished like the flame of a candle- blown out by a wind leagues stronger than itself. The golden gates were like paper, peeling open, allowing him to fall off the side of the reality bubble, looking down and soaring with glee as the fake sunlight faded away, the scent of the gardens and the dirt on his feet clinging on as the clouds grew ever closer- and he traveled far, far from the origin of the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to kudo, comment, or HMU on my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ConfuzzledSheep) If you really want to yell at me/express your heated opinions!

**Author's Note:**

> Comment, Kudo, whatever it is y'all do!
> 
> I have a [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ConfuzzledSheep?lang=en) Where you can yell at me!!


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